A Kiss and I Will Surrender

27

I just wanted him to like me back, but at the same time, he had truly and completely broken my heart. He had left me out in the cold (literally) when I thought  we had something going. He had lead me on. If he did end up making a move, would I really be so quick to jump up and take him back? That just seemed pathetic; more pathetic than I already was. It was just my luck when I showed up at Mikey's on Tuesday that that was the day he and Kristin decided to go to the fair together. I was met at the door by an exhausted-looking Gerard. He looked like shit-- yet he somehow pulled it off in such a way that he was still pleasing to the eyes.

"Frank," He said when he opened the door. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was unruly and greasy.

"Gerard," I retorted.

"I.. um.. I actually have been meaning to talk to you," He opened the door wider, "Why don't you come inside?"

I nodded cautiously and entered the house behind him.

"Coffee?" He pointed at a freshly made pot on the counter. I nodded and he poured me a cup-full. He made it just how I liked it, and I was touched that he had remembered such a small and insignificant detail about me.

"You look tired," I noted earning a glare from him.

"Thanks," He said sarcastically, "I haven't been sleeping lately," He slid the cup over  to me and took a sip of his own.

"Why not?" He laughed, why was that funny?

"Doesn't matter, how are you?"

"I'm... okay," I said hesitantly, "You?" He laughed again. Was I missing something?

"You came for Mikey, right?" He put his coffee down and took a seat in the stool next to me. I nodded. He nodded back. There was a strange air to him, to the whole room.

"So, you and Pete?" He said at last. Now it was my turn to laugh.

"You and Ray," I stated, it wasn't a very good response to say the least, but it's what I said.

"I broke up with him," Gerard looked away, he didn't look sad though, he just looked... lost.

"Oh, I'm sorry," He exhaled with a smile, another dark laugh, what was so funny?

"How did that happen?" I looked at him weird, "You and Pete."

"Um.. it-" fuck. Caught in another lie. Like a fly in a spiders web, there was no way out.

"Yeah... that um.. that isn't happening anymore either," I shook my head with a sigh.

"What was... happening?" This whole conversation felt strange, it felt wrong.

"Um.. like a friends with benefits thing. Two single guys, y'know," I looked away from him. His gaze felt like fire, burning away at my skin ready to expose all of my secrets and lies.

"Oh," He sounded sad. Why did he sound sad?

"Yeah," I just nodded, taking a sip of my coffee, "But that's over, it was uh.. just a short term thing," He nodded, staying silent. We just sat there for a few moments, avoiding each other's gaze.

"Frank?" I looked up at him, "Frank.. would you... um," He looked really nervous, "What are you doing on Thursday?" My eyes widened. Holy shit, was he about to ask me out?

"Uh, nothing I don't think," I looked away, my heart thumping in my chest.

I didn't know what I wanted to happen. If he asked me out, I wasn't certain I'd say yes. I didn't want to seem so eager to get back with him. Plus, he'd barely spoken to me since he got here. Only our short conversation on the fair ride. I was still convinced he hated me. He hadn't done anything to make it clear that he didn't.