A Kiss and I Will Surrender

36

Gerard's POV:

I kept my distance for as long as I could. I didn't even say hi to him when he arrived at the house. I was trying so hard but it hurt so much. I still loved him, that wasn't ever up for debate, but he wanted nothing to do with me. I talked with my family that was at the party, and hung out with a couple other older siblings of the Graduates. But the entire time, I couldn't get my mind off of Frank. He was just within reach, and I needed so badly to just talk to him. Even just a casual conversation; I needed to hear his voice.

I walked up to the group, Pete, who I recognized from his... relations with Frank.... and a girl with brightly dyed hair were at his sides. Mikey and the rest if them stood around in a semicircle. I took my time walking over there, stopping and taking sips of my drink as I did. I wished that there had been alcohol, but my parents decided to be super strict about what drinks were offered at this party. I guess they didn't want to be responsible for any underage drinking, and understandably so. Unfortunately though, that also meant that there were no alcoholic beverages for the legal guests such as myself.

Finally, I mustered up the courage to join the group, which was when I asked Frank if he could talk. He almost immediately agreed even though he was clearly busy.

I brought him inside and we sat facing each other on the couch like we had so many times before. The feeling of Deja vu crept into me when we started talking.

"Okay, enough of the small talk, what do you want?" He asked, he sounded upset, maybe even angry.

"Sorry, I-- Sorry... I just thought we could catch up or something," I honestly just needed to hear his voice, I just needed to be near him.

"Well, looks like we're all caught up," He said, hopping off the couch.

"Frank, wait.. please," I reached out my arm, hoping for him to stop.

"What?" He snapped.

"Look, I get it if you don't like me-- hell, I wouldn't like me if I were you, but can we at least be friends?"

He didn't give me an answer but instead disappeared, mentioning something about Pete and a dare. I watched him walk away, putting my head between my knees for a moment before getting up. I wandered back out to the yard and found Mikey and his friends; but no Frank.

"Hey Gerard!" Pete called out as soon as he saw me, "Where's Frank? I need to give him a little trim," He snickered.

"I-- He's not out here?" Pete and a couple of the others shook their heads.

"Didn't he go inside with you?" Mikey inquired.

"Yeah but uh.. Ah, never mind, it doesn't matter," I brushed him off and found an empty chair. What the hell was I gonna do about him? I missed him so much and I think I'd just fucked it up even more. There was no hope for me.

I pulled out my phone and opened up his contact as if it would bring me closer to him. Unfortunately I hadn't ever gotten a contact photo to go with his number, I wished I had so I could at least see his face. I shook my head at the little screen and stuffed it back into my pocket.

"Gee," Mikey walked over to me, looking out of breath, "Can you do me a favour?" I nodded.

"What's up?"

"I need you to bring me my phone, I left it upstairs but we need it for a-- just don't worry about it, can you get it for me?"

"Why can't you get it yourself?" I asked. He gestured to his clothes which were soaking wet and stained red with punch. I assumed it was from another dare.

"Fine," I groaned and rose from my chair.

I walked up the stairs to his bedroom and opened the door slowly, all the while wondering where on Earth Frank had disappeared to.

And perfect timing— there he was, sitting on Mikey's bed with his back to me. He looked like he was about to leave, but I needed to talk to him, even just for a moment. I tried to get him to talk to me, but he was unresponsive, and at first I was worried that he was upset with me until I reached out to touch him. Then things were different.

It was like being kissed by a ghost. The moment his lips left mine he evaporated into thin air, leaving me hopelessly wishing he would return. I had never gotten over him; I tried, I really did, but every time I looked back, there he was. He had left me hanging on the edge of a cliff. Now it was like he'd given me his hand, pulling me up just before letting go again and watching me struggle to hang on the edge. Why did he have to do this to me??

The moment I got back I could just feel it in the air, that desire for him that never truly left me. Hell, I hadn't even had sex since I last saw him! And I was literally the guy who was known for being a complete man-whore! I just couldn't. Even looking at another guy made me sick to my stomach. It felt like betrayal, even though I thought that he didn't reciprocate my feelings in the slightest.

Now, here I was, standing in my brothers room completely dumbfounded because he had kissed me. It wasn't just any kiss though, it had intent behind it, it was passionate and left me wanting more. If he didn't feel the same, then he wouldn't have initiated it. I wanted so much more. I wanted Frank as much as I had the day I left in early January. I had never felt this way before, and knowing that I loved him and couldn't have him hurt. It hurt a lot.

But I did love him. I loved him way too much for having not seen him for so long. I most definitely still loved him. I tried to push it away, I wanted to respect his wish of not wanting anything to do with me, but when I saw him from across the yard, smiling and having fun, looking so perfect, I knew that I could never get rid of that feeling. I loved to see him laughing, smiling, but I also yearned to be the reason he smiled.

I finally regained control of my body and I turned to leave Mikey's room. I wandered down the hall and back to the yard where the party was still alive and well. I had thought he wanted nothing to do with me because he hated me; or at least disliked me. Clearly that was not the case, though, a kiss like that is an indicator enough.

"Gee!" It was Mikey.

"Yeah?" I slowed down and let him walk up to me.

"Do you have it?" I gave him a funny look.

"Huh?"

"My phone? The literal reason you went inside?" I had completely forgotten about that. Oops.

"Oh uh.. yeah-- let me just go-," I turned around and went back to his room. Frank was nowhere to be seen inside or outside of the house. He must've left the party.

--

its 2am jfc.... ending this one short too bc i want to.

ngl idk how im gonna end this fic... like i know whats happening next, but i dont have an ending yet lmaooo kgskljfljta

But for now I'll just keep spoiling you guys and posting 1-2 times a day ;)