twisted dares - l.s.

Chapter Twenty

January 1st, 2009
Happy New Year....I guess. I hate New Years. It's the day this whole thing started and the day he died. I've kept his journal this entire time and that's what I'm writing in currently. He as in my father. Desmond Styles. D.S. I love you and miss you more and more everyday I lie here on this earth without you.
-count: 254

-

The teacher dismissed the class and the majority of the students already piled out. Harry swung his backpack over his shoulder, leaving it to dangle by a single strap.

Niall is walking out of his class when he goes to Harry's locker.

"Harry," Niall says with a serious expression on his face.

Harry shoots his head up and jumps back, startled by Niall.

"Sorry, what's up Ni?"

"I-," he pauses. "How do I approach this.."

"Approach what? What's going on Niall?"

"Um."

"Are you okay?" Harry asks.

"Yeah. Yeah! I'm fine. I guess the question is, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well," Niall began. "Please don't be mad but I was on my way to grab a textbook out of my locker earlier and I heard you shouting from the bathroom. I wanted to see if you were okay but the bathroom door was locked. I could hear you shouting at someone. Who were you on the phone with? I could hear you talking about a deal. Or breakup? I'm not sure. Care to explain? Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Harry's breath hitched as his heart sank deep into his stomach.

he heard that?

"Niall-"

"Harry. It's obvious you've been hiding something from me since the moment I met you. I didn't want to pressure you into telling me or anything but I'm starting to become worried."

Harry takes the deepest breath of all time.

"Fine," Harry mutters and pulls Niall into a janitors closet.

"What are you..What are we doing-"

Harry interrupted Niall and shushed him.

"Lower your voice," the green-now insanely dark- eyed boy instructed.

Niall was confused. His eyes furrowed as Harry locked the door and clicked on the dim hanging lightbulb.

"You cannot tell anyone. Ever."

"Okay," Niall replied.

"No you don't understand. You can't tell anyone. Not Liam, not Lewis, not...wait never mind, Liam knows but you cannot talk about this with him. Or in public. Not in front of my family. No one."

"I understand."

"Niall, I need you to promise me you won't tell anyone. If he found out then you could get seriously hurt."

"Who?"

"Never mind, I'll explain later," Harry double checked that the wooden door was locked.

"Are you gonna stand there and continue to check the door or explain what the fuck has been going on?" The Irish boy interrogated.

"Fine. I- Where do I start? I can't tell you everything for your own safety but basically I was on the phone with this guy. I don't know his name but he knows everything about me. He started contacting me-well I guess I contacted him first," Harry coughed. "And um I basically have to do whatever he says or else someone I love will get hurt. This all started when I was thirteen but I don't have the time to explain that right now. Anyways, he basically made me break up with-oh yeah Louis and I are dating-and so he made me break up with Louis and that's why we both weren't at school for a week or so. And Louis came over last night and the guy found out and was super pissed but surprisingly he agreed to let us continue to date...as long as I did some of his dirty work," Harry finally took a breath.

"Dirty work?"

"Yeah. He wants me to run some drugs to a client or whatever."

"And you're cool with that?"

"I mean I have no choice. I'd rather deal his drugs then risk one of you getting hurt," Harry explained.

"Oh and I kinda figured between you and Louis," Niall added.

Harry sent him a quick eyebrow raise.

"You cannot tell a soul about this."

"I know. I know. Calm down Harold, your secrets safe with me."

"I can't believe I just fucking told you," Harry muttered under his breath, placing his hands behind his head, tugging at his neck.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?" Harry looked up.

"Can I see something?" The blond lad asked.

"What?"

Niall grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled up his long sleeve. He gasped.

"I knew it," Niall's eyes began to water.

There were self-harm scars lingering up and down Harry's entire arm. Some fresh, some faded, some just a white streak that was barely visible. Some from years ago, some from a week ago.

Harry looked away. He couldn't bring himself to look Niall in the eyes.

"I knew it. I knew it. I knew it."

Harry's eyes began to fill with tears.

"Why Harry? Why?"

"I- It wasn't my choice Niall. It never was until I became hooked. Every now and again the urge takes over and my body goes into autopilot. I can't help it. Back then I could've but I had no choice. Now it's out of habit," he was clearly sobbing.

Niall wrapped his arms around the taller boy and held him close to his chest.

"I know it's hard. Trust me. I know. I know how hard it can be to stop. But once you conquer it and become in control with your mind and body, you will feel free," Nialls voice began to crack as warm tears stained his cheeks.

"How do you?"

"I don't want to say I was in the same position as you because I wasn't. Your situation is a thousand times worse and I know I'll never understand it because I didn't have to go through that or know the whole story. But as of next year I will be 2 years clean. It's a complete turn around. I will help you get better. I will. I promise," Niall squeezes Harry tighter.

"Please don't tell Liam about the.. you know," Harry gestured towards his wrists.

"He doesn't know?"

"No and I'd like to keep it that way. Please."

"Okay. But you'll have to tell him eventually."

"I know."

A minute of sadness passes.

"Take me with you," Niall says sternly.

"What?"

"Take me with you. I don't want you having to do this shit alone. Take me with you for the trade."

"Okay...," Harry's voice was small and regretful.

"Now that that's settled, let's get our shit together and return to class. I will keep your secret as long as you keep mine," Niall hugs the boy once more.

"Okay. Deal."

"Don't you dare go without me to that thing. You better text me."

Niall notices Harry physically shudder at the word.

"Hey you okay?" Niall asks.

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's okay. Now, we may both be broken but that doesn't mean we can't walk out of this closet and show those students who's the main bitch around here."

Harry chuckles.

Niall unlocks the door before pulling Harry out, careful to not grip onto his scars; that were now covered by Harry's long sleeve tee once again.

"Thank you Niall," Harry whispers.