LOVE or LUST (COMPLETED)

43. Down on bended knees

I walked away with Bella. Mahirap man butI forced myself to step out of the house while I was trying so hard to hold back these tears.

How could this happen to us? I prepared for this, I waited for this. Hindi ko naman sya gustong isuko eh. It's just so hard for me to stay near her kung ganitong sya na ang sumusuko, yung ganitong apektadong apektado sya lalo na sa health condition ni Mr. Park. I understand that, ang hindi ko lang maintindihan e bakit kailangan niyang sabihing we cannot be together.

That's the most painful line I've ever heard in my whole life.

"Daddy, you okay?"

"Yes, napuwing lang si daddy. Tara let's go to hotel and pack our things. Uwi tayo and you go to Mommy Carin, she misses you."

We have to head back home. Bukod sa pinatawag ako ni dad, hindi rin magandang nandito pa kami sa sitwasyong hindi pa kami pwedeng magkasama ng babaeng mahal ko.

Gusto kong umasang sasama sa amin si Yeleina but I know she's choosing her family.. I'm not closing my doors for her..

I am willing to wait until she comes home to me.

I love her so much, even from afar.

  

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It's been 3 days since Brent and Bella left. I had no choice but to bear with it. 2 days, pero doble doble ang sakit kesa noong halos isang taon kaming hindi nagkaayos.

Every second, there's never a moment na hindi ko naalalang nasaktan ko si Brent for choosing my family.

Those tears that rolled down his cheeks, that last message he told me to never forget him and hoping we can be together in the next life.

It's been a week, isang linggo na rin akong nagkukulong sa kwarto ko, hindi lumalabas, walang kinakausap.

I saw dad from my window and I can see that he's in good condition now. But despite of that fact, I cannot still leave them. I have to stay and be the daughter they wished me to be. Even if it kills me.

I'm not trying to commit suicide, hindi naman ako desperada para gawin yun, but I'm now in a point na parang ayaw ko ng mabuhay. Wala ng dahilan para sa pag gising ko sa bawat umaga. My whole body is numb.

Totoo nga talaga na once you have a broken heart, waking up is the hardest. I loved only once, so much that I wanted it to be my last. 

"Yeleina yooohooo, get up. Labas tayo. Magsaya ka naman. Lagi kang nasa kama mo eh. Sige ka baka hanginin ka, mabaldado ka dyan."