For now (a destiel fanfic)

chapter 1

(Spoilers** this is after Metatron so Cas is human, but Sam was not possesed by Gadreel so Cas never left)

Sam and Dean were in the bunker looking for cases when Sam finally found one, it looked like a couple werewolf's in Toledo "alright you go wake Cas I'll-" "actually could you wake him I-uh I need to make some coffee before we leave" Dean said, interrupting Sam "ok we'll meet you outside in 10"

Dean nodded and went to the kitchen, he hated doing this but he knew that the only way he could figure out what the hell was going on in his head every time he saw Cas, was to avoid him. It wasn't his best idea but he needed to figure it out and he can't seem to think straight every time he sees those damn blue eyes.

He was wrestling with his feelings a lot lately "I'm straight, I have to be, but why can't I get Cas out of my head? And why do I feel something that I've never felt before when I'm around him? What the hell is that feeling? Damn it Dean you can't be doing this again, this can't happen again. Just remember what happened last time" he thought to himself as he frowned at the memory.

Dean was making his coffee when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he flinched at the touch and looked back to Cas staring back at him "damn it Cas" he tilted his head a little in confusion which Dean couldn't help but think was cute "no stop it, bad Dean" he mentally scolded himself

"you can't sneak up on me like that man, say something, make a noise seriously" Cas furrowed his eyebrows a little "my apologies, i was just wondering when we are leaving, Sam says we have a case" Dean backed up a little, feeling like he was standing dangerously close to the angel which confused Cas but he ignored it

"yeah just let me pour myself some coffee for the drive and we can go" he gives Cas a little smile and goes to pour some coffee, trying not to think about the angel who he could feel staring at him.

He put down the cup and looked back "what Cas?" He asked, a little more aggressive then he intended. Cas looked upset, he hadn't even realized that he was staring at Dean he just couldn't stop looking at him, trying to find the courage to ask him what was going on

"nothing, sorry I'll go wait with Sam" he turned around and walked out of the kitchen thinking about how Dean had been acting ever since the "incident" with Naomi when he almost killed Dean.

He was trying his best to ignore it but he was sure now, more than ever. Dean Winchester hated him.

He didn't blame Dean for hating him, hell right now he hated himself for what he did to him, but still it hurt. The man he loved, hated him and there was nothing he could do about it. He was sad, he could never tell Dean how he felt because he could lose him and if Dean hated him now, he sure as hell wouldn't change his mind if he figured out that Cas had feelings for him, actually he might start to hate him even more, if that was possible.

Dean had to take a deep breath once he was alone, he felt bad when he saw the hurt in Cas' eyes but he kept telling himself that this is what's best. He has to stop thinking about his best friend in that way. He has to.

It seemed like a normal case, their first "grocery run" in a long time, so they tracked down the nest and went in with their silver knives. It was going fine, there was about seven of them, they had killed off most of them but the last three were the strongest. Each one of them was fighting a werewolf so they couldn't have each others backs.

The boys were starting to get the upper hand and fighting back, Sam killed the one he was fighting and so did Dean. Cas killed his seconds later but not before the werewolf scratched him up pretty bad. "Cas!" They both rushed over to him when they saw all the blood on his shirt.