For now (a destiel fanfic)

Chapter 13

-I need you" as soon as Dean finished his prayer he heard a the unmistakable sound of Cas's wings flapping, gesturing that he actually answered. He looked up to find the man that broke his heart not even three months ago. His breath hitched in his throat while trying to contain his emotions, they were just staring at each other for a second before Cas realized what he was doing and cleared his throat.

He didn't mean to stare but the second he saw Dean all those emotions came back and all he wanted to do was walk over and kiss him even though he knew he couldn't "hello Dean" he sat up from the bed and practically limped over to Sam's bed, not being able to look at the other man for much longer. He sat on the chair right next to the bed "can you heal him?" he asked without looking at the angel.

Cas walked over and put the fingers on Sam's forehead, all cuts, bruises and even blood disappeared in a second much to Dean's relief "he will be fine but his body is tired so he needs rest, he should wake by morning" Dean nodded and looked up despite his mind telling him not to "thanks Cas" he nodded back but didn't make any move to leave, he needed a little more time "what happened to you guys?" he looked up confused as to why Cas even cared.

He answered anyways "well we were hunting what seemed like a high level demon which didn't make any sense since we closed the gates and all but the all the signs pointed to the same conclusion. We were chasing a lead when Abaddon came and attacked us" Cas who was looking down shot his head up quickly "did you just say Abaddon?" Dean nodded and got up to get a beer from the fridge still limping, Cas didn't want to heal him without permission.

His eyes followed the hunter walking across the room and that's when he noticed something "Dean why are you wearing that jacket?" he asked confused "what do you mean" he got up and faced him more "that's your fathers leather jacket you haven't worn it in years because it reminded you of him" Dean was a little shocked that Cas even remembered that but tried to find a quick reply "well i got cold and it was the only one in the car" he lied.

He instinctively fixed the collar to hide his neck and Cas's heart dropped when he realized 'is he hiding a hickey?' he wondered but Dean seemed scared more than embarrassed or guilty so he walked over to him and pulled tried to pull the jacket to the side but got his wrist grabbed instead. It took Dean a second to react because of how close Cas was to him but he stopped him from moving the jacket.

The angel shot him a look and he let go silently giving him permission to look, Cas's heart almost stopped when he pulled the leather out of the way "did she do this?" he asked angrily looking at the hand shaped bruise wrapped around the hunter's neck, Dean had no idea why he was acting like this since he said he never cared but instead of asking he just looked down remembering the events from the last few days "no this happened before"

Cas put two fingers on Dean's forehead and he was healed of all injuries except one "you're blocking me from healing it" he looked at him confused but still angry "Dean who did this to you?" Dean looked angry, he was deflecting the subject "why do you even care" Cas glared at him and just repeated his question "who did this" he sighed in defeat "we didn't find this hunt Jodi did and she told us to come help her and another hunter who supposedly knew John" 

He only ever called him John when he was with Cas because he didn't feel like he had to pretend with him, he always called him dad when he was talking to Sam even though he was a poor excuse for one. He walked to the table opening the beer and sitting down, if he was gonna tell him this he really didn't need to be so close "the other hunter turned out to be Pete and well one thing led to another and" he stopped and just gestured to the bruise.

Cas's heart broke at the fact that he wasn't there for Dean when all of this happened, now that Abaddon had broken her end of the deal Cas could start slowly acting like himself again and he could even tell Dean the truth after they killed her so that he was sure that his hunter would be safe. He walked over and sat in front of Dean making sure that they had eye contact, Dean avoided it at first but he couldn't look away from the bright blue eyes he loved so much. For a second he thought he saw the old Cas back, the one he loved, the one who loved him.

He shook away his thoughts 'no it's impossible, he never loved you in the first place' he heard in his head and looked down. Cas put his hand on the side of the hunter's neck and made him look up "let me heal it" he said in a soft tone that Dean hadn't heard in a long time, it made his heart melt and he just nodded slowly. A small light came from under the hand and just like that the bruise was gone. 

Even after it was healed neither of them moved, each drinking in the intimate moment while they still had it. Dean because he thought that Cas was just being nice to make him feel better and Cas because he didn't know if he would get another chance for a while, neither cared though because they missed the other with everything they had even if they wouldn't admit it just yet. They both had their eyes closed and their foreheads together, just like they always used to do when one needed comfort.

'this doesn't change anything he still doesn't love you, no one does. Hell you don't even love yourself, how pathetic you really think this is anything but him pitying you' John's voice came into Dean's head yet again bringing him back to reality, he cleared his throat and pulled away which just made Cas sad but he didn't want to show it. He got up and laid in his bed leaving Cas frozen in the same position, missing the previous warmth and feeling "it's been a long day and i need my four hours" he explained.

Cas just nodded and went to lay on the couch since now he needed to sleep as well. They both eventually fell asleep wishing that they were in the same bed instead of across the room but both also knowing that that wasn't possible, for different reasons of course. Neither had nightmares that night which was extremely weird since neither of them had a good night's rest since the breakup. Deep down they both knew the reason, just being in the same room and knowing that the other was safe no matter what they've been through brought them both comfort and a feeling of safety.