For now (a destiel fanfic)

chapter 3

Warning: kind of smutty but not too bad... ish

Dean sat there, trying to ignore the pain in his heart everytime he thought of the fact that he hurt Cas. Finally it got to be too much so he got up and walked to Cas' room, he knocked and waited for an answer but none came.

"Cas please let me in" his voice came out broken and quiet, there was still no answer so he just opened the door and walked in. He saw Cas sitting on his bed, his eyes red and puffy no doubt from crying.

The sight before him broke Deans heart, he couldn't believe he had hurt him so bad "god i can't believe i already screwed this up, i mean i knew i would eventually screw it up like i do with every good thing in my life but i literally just got you and i already lost you, i already hurt you"

He shook his head and turned around to leave "i came in here to fix things but you're probably better off without me, all I'm good at is hurting the people i love the most" he grabbed the doorknob and turned it but before he could open the door he felt someone grab his hand "don't leave"

He turned around, tears in his eyes "i'm sorry" he finally broke and started crying, Cas put his hand on his cheek and Dean cupped his face in both hands, leaning their foreheads together and closing their eyes "i'm so sorry, i never meant to hurt you"

"then why?" "I'm not ashamed of you, its not like that. I love you so much and I'm so happy to be with you but I'm just scared to tell Sam" "why would you be scared to tell him, he's your brother" "that's exactly why I'm scared, hes the only family i have left and if i tell him then i risk losing him."

He sighed and continued "truth is I lost my dad long before he died, i lost him the second i told him that i was gay. After that i never acted on my feelings towards a guy i just ignored them and buried myself in women. Until i met you, as much as i tried to suppress my feelings towards you i never could and trust me i tried. I know that Sam isn't my dad and that he's probably more understanding, but i just can't take the risk, I'm sorry"

Cas did something Dean never expected, he kissed him. It was so full of love and care, Dean melted into the kiss. He was so happy, but still scared that this was their last kiss. They broke away for air but kept their foreheads together and their eyes closed

"please tell me that wasn't the last time i ever get to kiss you, i can't lose you Cas i just got you" "you can't get rid of me that easily Dean" Dean let out a breath he didn't know he was holding "i love you so much" "i love you too and don't worry i understand now, we can wait until you're ready to tell your brother"

Dean chuckled a little "what?" "Nothing it's just, in the last two days my 'no chick flick moments' rule has really gone down the drain" instead of responding Cas just smiled and kissed Dean again, Dean pulled away after a few seconds and smirked

"well you know there are actually some moments in chick flicks that i don't mind" "really, like wh-" Cas was cut off by a moan escaping his lips, Dean had started kissing down his neck.

He got a little more aggressive with every moan of approval coming from Cas' mouth, leaving hickeys all down his neck. Only to return back to kissing his lips, almost craving them.

The kiss was aggressive yet still passionate and full of love, Dean brought them to the bed and layed Cas on it, hovering over him without separating their lips. They only broke the kiss for air when Cas opened his eyes he found Dean's staring right back at him, a devilish smirk on his lips

"what?" He leaned down to whisper in his ear "you know i never got pay back for the hickey you gave me this morning" and with that he started slowly kissing down his neck, Cas tilted his head giving Dean a better angle and moaning at the feeling