For now (a destiel fanfic)

Chapter 14

Sam woke up first the next morning with barely any memory of what happened the night before, he tried to get up but groaned at the soreness he still felt. He looked down and saw no cuts or bruises "what the hell?" he said out loud which caught his older brother's attention since he was always a light sleeper "Sam?" he saw that his brother was awake and he let out out a sigh of relief before getting up and hugging him "you really scared me back there Sammy"

He hugged his brother back but pulled away confused "what the hell happened, i only remember filling up gas then a lot of pain, then i passed out" he went through the events in his head again and that's when his eyes widened and he looked up "Abaddon, she attacked us at the gas station" he looked down at his body "why? how? what?" he didn't really know what to ask.

A/N: and the writer didn't know how to phrase the question so she improvised ;)

Dean nodded to the sleeping angel on the couch "i called Cas, he healed you" that's when they both actually realized that Cas was sleeping on the couch and not just laying down, they looked at each other confused before walking over to him. Dean couldn't look at him for long without memories threatening to flood back so he just went to make them coffee while Sam woke him up, he explained to them why he had to sleep now and they both just nodded.

"I'm glad to have you back man" Sam smiled at him after putting his coffee down "yeah well don't get used to it, he's probably only staying for this case and then he's leaving again to do whatever" Dean mumbled with a sad tone that Cas immediately picked up on but didn't say anything in return. The tension was high for the next few hours while they did research on where Abaddon could be, Dean and Cas didn't know how to act around each other and even Sam realized that there was something wrong.

Dean had never actually told Sam what happened before Cas left so he just assumed that they had a fight and that's why they were being so weird. After a while Dean couldn't take being in the same room as him anymore because all the emotions that were building up so he got up and grabbed a jacket (not John's) "I'm gonna go get us some real food, we haven't even had breakfast and i can't live off of snacks the entire day" he needed some air and some time away.

Sam nodded to him before he left as a response when he asked if Chinese food was good, he closed the door and Cas let out a quiet sigh of relief from the previous tension. Of course because the universe hated him, the tension was back a few minutes later when Sam asked him a question "hey Cas?" he looked up from his book "you told me a couple months ago that you knew the person Dean was dating" he stiffened a little but answered "yes that's right"

Sam nodded before continuing "so you knew then?" he squinted his eyes and tilted his head in confusion "knew what?" Cas had no idea what he meant "that he was dating a guy" Sam replied and the angel's eyes grew wider as he set his book down slowly "he..." he took a pause "he told you?" Cas couldn't believe what he was hearing, he was happy for Dean but also sad that he couldn't have been there for him. Sam nodded in response "i found him one night in the motel room and he didn't know i was there so he started talking to dad, i overheard what he said and he accidentally let it slip that he was dating a guy"

Cas nodded and Sam continued "he explained later that night why he didn't tell me and what happened between him and his ex" he was still confused about something "but he didn't tell you who he was?" Sam shook his head "he told me that even though he really wanted to hate him for everything that he did, he couldn't and he didn't want me to hate him either because apparently i knew him" Cas's lips twitched into a small smile but he hid it from Sam.

The younger Winchester shrugged "i don't know how he does it honestly, that guy broke him i mean he hasn't even been with anyone since" he was a little relieved that Dean hadn't been with anyone else but he also had a sinking feeling in his heart at the fact the fact that he hurt him so much "i mean the guy told him that he never loved him right before their one year anniversary" Cas nodded "yeah that's a pretty terrible thing to do, I'm sure he had his reasons though" he tried but immediately froze at what Sam said next.

"I can't find any good reason for him to have done that when Dean loved him so much, he doesn't really talk about it but i know him and I've never seen him like that over any one. He never even considered marriage for most of our lives but still he bought a ring for this guy" he looked up so fast he almost got whiplash "he what" "yeah he bought a ring, he was gonna propose to this guy before he went and broke Dean's heart"

Cas didn't know how to feel right now. He was sad that he lost him. Angry at Abaddon for taking that away. Mad at himself for even taking the deal. Surprised that Dean actually loved him that much. Happy that maybe this meant he could somehow still fix things. His emotional rollercoaster was interrupted by Sam saying something "woah, woah, what the hell" he looked up to see Sam writing something down on a paper.

"Sam?" he looked a little scared "i have no control of my arms, I'm not writing this" he said frantically, Cas used his grace to find out what was wrong and he felt dark magic resonating from somewhere on Sam. He looked for a second and found a small hexbag that Abaddon had left while the boys were passed out, he burned it and they both looked at the paper. The only sound in the room was Cas's wings flapping as he flew away "shit" Sam muttered.  

There on the paper, in Sam's handwriting lay the words 'let's finish this once and for all' with an address under it. Before he could even say anything the angel was already gone, hellbent on getting his revenge for everything he lost. Sam was pacing back and forth while calling Dean, who wasn't answering his phone until he finally opened the door and walked in "Dean there you are, why the hell didn't you answer your phone" he put the bags down quickly, worried about his little brothers frantic tone.

"I had the music on really loud in Baby why, what the hell happened?" Sam threw on a jacket and started walking while explaining "we found her but Cas went off alone before i could stop him" Dean quickly followed him to the car "how far are they from here?" Sam sighed "that's the worst part it's only twenty minutes away plus she wanted us to find her which can only mean one thing" his heartbeat quickened at the thought of his angel getting hurt even if they weren't together anymore.

"It's a trap" he answered and Sam nodded "and Cas just walked straight into it" They sped off down the highway to the location, ignoring every speed limit warning.