For now (a destiel fanfic)

chapter 5

Warning: slight mentions of previous abuse and all the feels

The next 7 months were filled with bliss for the hunter and his angel, barely any fights and the ones they did have were quickly resolved, each one not being able to stay mad at the other.

Even when they did fight, they would still sleep in the same bed, not being able to stand sleeping without the other. That was something they learned the hard way, they had tried to once after getting into a small argument but both quickly caved and apologized, not being able to fall asleep without the warmth of the other.

The first and only time they ever had a big fight was about 3 months after they got together, Dean had been acting weird all week and Cas was starting to worry. Everytime he brought it up he would just get "i'm fine" in response

Knowing that Dean was not gonns talk to him, he decided to ask Sam if he knew what was going on. He went to grab his phone and call him since he was on a hunt with Kevin, not really caring how late it was. Cas got even more worried when Dean didn't want to go with them.

He couldn't find his phone so he just grabbed Dean's since it was on the table next to him but when he picked it up his heart dropped
3 missed calls : Lee Webb
Usually he wouldn't worry but there was also a few messages on the screen
-come on Dean
-i wanna see you
-i miss you

Dean came into the library only to see his boyfriend staring down at his phone, looking completely caught up in what he was looking at "Cas?" He looked up but only for a second before looking back at Dean's phone "who's Lee?" Dean's jaw clenched at the realization

"You looked through my phone?" Cas didn't answer he just looked back at Dean "is that why you've been acting distant all week? Because you felt guilty" Dean who was looking down trying to control his anger suddenly snapped his head up at the last words.

"Guilty? What exactly do you think i did?" Instead of answering Cas just read out the messages "i wanna see you, i miss you, what else am i supposed to think?" "Well when you were looking at my messages did you happen to realize that i never answered him? Or were you too busy not trusting me to even bother checking?"

"I..." Dean nodded laughing a little "of course you didn't because you're just waiting for me to eventually screw this up like i do everything else" Dean looked down and shook his head mumbling "guess he was right" but Cas heard it, which only worried him further.

Cas was about to deny it and tell Dean that he was wrong and that he doesn't screw evrything up, he only makes things better. Before he could, Dean left to go into his room, slamming his door on the way in and ignoring his name being called.

He sat down on the side of his bed, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. He took the bottle of scotch and the cup from his nightstand and poured a cup, trying to surpress all the feelings building up but quickly failing as his anger took over.

Standing up he threw the cup at a wall, shattering at the impact and making a loud noise which caught the attention of Cas who was still sitting in the library thinking over what had just happened. He stood up and ran to his boyfriend's room only to stop at the door when he heard him yelling.

"YOU WERE RIGHT! YOU HEAR THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME NO ONE COULD LOVE SOMEONE AS BROKEN AND MESSED UP AS I AM, ALL I AM IS JUST A WORTHLESS, DISGUSTING SCREW UP AND I MESS UP EVERYTHING I TOUCH! I MEAN I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WOULD NEVER WORK, NOT WITH YOUR VOICE CONSTANTLY PLAYING IN MY DAMN HEAD!"

Cas couldn't stand hearing this anymore so he knocked on the locked door, he got no answer "Dean let me in" Dean was standing right in front of the door after Cas knocked, preparing himself for what was gonna happen when he opened the door.