Massacre (villain Tommyinnit AU)

Chapter 14 - Aftermath

⚠️Trigger warning for anyone affected by or triggered by self harm, depression and self deprecating thoughts. (I will put a warning emoji before and after any triggering parts, you do not have to read if you do not want to) ⚠️

Also this is for Aprilinnt and Rin_Maruhi.         
I have hidden faces similar to these ( OwO ) in all the chapters. Find them.

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It was cold when he woke up. And dark. Why was it so dark all of a sudden?

'Torches went out a few hours ago.'

Oh. Yeah that made sense, he was at bedrock after all. Tommy went to go rub the sleep out of his eyes but found there to still be a mask in the way.

'So it wasn't a dream...'
'It was not.'

He stopped for a second.

'Nightmare. Am I a monster?'
'No... I don't think you are.'
'But I killed a kid'

Nightmare now stood in front of him. He placed a hand on Tommy cheek, attempting and ultimately failing to wipe away the tears that now fell.

'That child was going to die either way. You did him a favour. He died under better circumstances with you then he would have without.'

'But he was a kid. He didn't do anything wrong and I killed him.'

'And what is to say that the other people you killed did anything wrong?'

'That doesn't matter! It was a kid! He wasn't even a teenager yet! Hell! He couldn't have been over 7!'

'Tommy?'

"Oh god. He wasn't even 7 yet was he?"

'Tommy!'

⚠️
His mind felt fuzzy. Tears burned his eyes and cheeks as they fell.
He ripped the mask from his face and held his hands over his ears, nails digging into his skull.

He was breathing heavily, panting with each breath as his throat refused to let more air in. Eyes shut tight. Each sob that wracked his body caused his body to convulse.

He rocked back and fourth, knees tightly against his chest. He continued to run his nails through his hair, pulling at it and scratching at his skull and back of his neck.

His chest felt so tight.
He couldn't breath.
The ringing in his ears was so loud.
Tears continued down his face.
Coughs and hiccups soon came through as his lungs tried desperately to get more air in.
A mantra ran through his mind.
'Monster'
'Freak'
'Useless'
'Bastard'
'Should have died'
'Monster'
'Murderer'
'Should have done it'
'Should have killed yourself'
'Freak'
'Pathetic'
'Useless'
'Nothing'
'Worthless'

All of these thoughts were so loud. He could barely even hear the muffled voices of the dead.
'I— ok-y'
'-ey k— I— go-n- to b- o—-'
'L—-en'
'H—'
'T-m—'
'Br—t-'
'Co-m-n k-d —ea-h'
'K-D'
'-EY'
'KI-D-'
'P-ea— k-d lis—n'
'To-my'
'Ple-e'

Everything was just too much.

Too many sounds.
Too many feelings.
Too many thoughts.
Too much.

It was too much.

He wanted it to be quiet.
He needed silence.

'Pain. Pain made it stop before.'

(Self harm trigger here. Ends at the warning emoji)

Tommy looked through blurred eyes at the knives he had left on the floor.
It couldn't be that bad.
It helped before.
It would help again right?