Massacre (villain Tommyinnit AU)

Chapter 29 - What happened?

So many chapters!!!

This one is very angsty and it hurt me to write so I am so sorry.
You will get a small glimpse into Tommy's past and you will see the after effects of Tommy getting 'revived'

Slight derealisation I will put the warning emoji ⚠️  both before and after.

I'm sorry.

————————

The torches were still lit when Tommy woke up again.
But there was something wrong.
Something different.
He didn't know what it was but it made his mind feel both heavy and empty all at once.

"Nightmare?!
Guys?!
Are you there?!"

'Yeah we're here kiddo.
Hey kiddo!
Hello
Morning
Hi
We're here
Don't worry kid, no ones leaving.
Well other than-
-shut the fuck up!
What?
Privacy is important Jared!
Oh come on he deserves to know!'

"Know what?"

'I went to go see what Dream was up to.'

"What?!"

"I didn't tell him you were alive.
I just wanted to make sure he wasn't trying to track you down.
And don't worry, he believes you to be dead, everyone does from the sounds of it.
No one will try to find you.'

"Okay... that's good."

"Why were you so worried when you woke up? If you don't mind me asking."

"Umm, well, uhhh.
You know after I collapsed a few days ago?
Me head felt like that again.
Not that I was in pain!
It was just that my head felt, fuzzy? I guess?"

Tommy sighed.

"It felt like you guys had disappeared again.
I-
I was scared I was alone again."

'Oh kid, that's nothing to be ashamed about.
And don't worry about us.
We're spirits, we won't stay gone for long.'

"I know. I just didn't know what was happening."

'And that's okay. Do you have any idea what it could have been?'

"No. My head just feels fuzzy.
I-it feels both empty and really full at the same time.
It's hard to think."

'Can you pinpoint where the feeling is coming from? Is it a premonition of sorts?
Is it a warning?'

"No. No I don't think it's that.
It feels like I'm forgetting something?"

"Any idea what it could be?'

"...No.
no I can't pinpoint anything recent."

'Your childhood?'

"No.
No I still remember that."

"L'Manburg?'

"I remember all of that."

'Exile?'

⚠️

Tommy froze.

He didn't remember exile.

He knew he ran away.
He knew Tubbo was the one who exiled him.
He knew Dream TOLD Tubbo to exile him.
He knew all of his stuff was destroyed over and over again.
He remembered a compass, a tent, a log and a bell.

And he remembered someone hurting him.
He remembered pain.
And burns.
And loud noises.

...Explosions.

He remembered explosions.
Oh withers there was so many of them.
So loud.
So loud.
Too loud.
Too loud.
Too loud!
Too loud!
TOO LOUD!!

Blue...

There was blue?
Why was there blue?

Was Wilbur there?
Why was Wilbur there?

He remembered blue.

And green?

Phil?

Was Phil there?

Pain.
He remembered pain.

What did he do wrong?
Why was Phil hurting him?

He listened!
He didn't disobey!
So why?
Why was Phil hurting him?

What did he do wrong?
Why was Phil hurting him?
Why was Wilbur there?
Why didn't Wilbur help?

Why would he?

He never helped before.

Why would any of them help?

He did something wrong.

It was his fault.

It was always his fault.

Phil only hurt him for a reason.

So he must have done something wrong, right?

Yeah.
Yeah, he did something wrong.

⚠️

'You didn't do anything wrong kid...'

"Nightmare?"

'Yeah kid.'

"What do you mean I didn't do anything wrong?
Phil was hurting me, I must have done something wrong."

'That was Dream.
Not Phil.
Phil was never there.
Wilbur was, but he didn't know you were getting hurt.
It was Dream that destroyed your stuff.
It was Dream that hurt you.
Not Philza.'

"Phil wasn't the one hurting me?"

'No.'

"So I wasn't bad?"

'No kid, you weren't bad.'

"Oh..."

'Are you alright?'

"I-I don't know."

'You wanna talk?'

"Will you judge?"

'No.'

"Will you leave me?"

'Never.'

"Nightmare?"

'Yeah?'

"Why is it always me?

I didn't do anything wrong.

So why is it always me that pays the price?"

Tommy sat on the floor, his back against the wall.
Tears ran down his face as he finally let go of everything.
He told nightmare of his past, of what happened in Pogtopia.
Of everything.

And nightmare listened.

And he cried along with him.

.