My Sunshine

Ryujin and Resolution - Haru

Haru heard a rattle at her window. 

Sitting up in her bed, she looked over in time to see a dark figure smashing the windows open. Panicking, she found herself crawling to the floor and under the bed, trying to hide. She saw a familiar pair of soras walking across the floor. Then, a familiar set of pants as the figure dropped to it's knees. And then, the face that had haunted her nightmares for a decade.

Ryujin.

He reached out to grab her, but she began to swing wildly.

"Haru!"

This village was supposed to be safe...

"Haru!"

Ryujin's ugly face was screaming her name...

"Haru! Wake up!"

She made contact with Ryujin's face before he disappeared, but she couldn't stop screaming. She was still in the bedroom, but now she was on top of the bed, sitting up and breathing fast from seeing her attacker's face. And there was a figure in the room kneeling on the floor next to her bed, but it wasn't Ryujin.

It was Iruka.

He had blood running down his face and long gashes: it was Iruka that she had made contact with. Putting her hands over her mouth, she wanted to scream and cry at her mistake. He was going to kill her, or at the very least, punch her back and kick her out of her home she hadn't even been in for 12 hours. He didn't even flinch in pain.

"Are you okay?"

She looked over at the window, which was intact. It was a dream. A nightmare. She was shaking violently.

"I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Woah.  Don't be. I'm fine. Are you okay?"

Her heart was racing and she was covered in sweat. She gripped the blankets in fear, however, he remained even-keeled and concerned for her well being.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

Her mouth was dry. She nodded. He looked like he could cry again.  He gently took her hand and she took a deep breath, readying herself for the pain that was coming.  But, it didn't come.

"You're safe. Everything's okay. No one will find you here."

She wanted to believe him, but she couldn't be sure. He continued.

"May I run you a warm bath? You look like you could use a little comfort."

She gazed at him; the blood was beginning to coagulate, highlighting where her nails had made contact with his face.

"Then I have to leave? Or will you punish me in the bath?"

He looked both shocked and hurt by her comment.

"What? For what?"

"Your face..."

He reached up and touched his face gently.

"Oh, don't worry about that, It's nothing. I'm fine. You're the one who's shaking. Let me run you a bath.  Please, maybe it'll help comfort you."

"Okay."

He disappeared and, a moment later, she could hear the water running. He returned.

"Can you walk?"

She began to get up shakily; he offered her a hand and she accepted it. Pulling her gently from the bed, he held her hand as they walked to the bathroom. This was actually a moment that she had been dreading: she was going to need help.  She tried to summon the courage to ask as he stopped the tub and began to run the warm water.  Before he could leave her, she stopped him.

"Could you..."

Her voice was small and weak; she could feel her face turning red.  he gazed at her kindly.

"Yes?"

"I...I can't get undressed... by myself."

"I'm happy to help."

His hands were gentle as he tugged her shirt over her head. She was terribly embarassed, but her fingers and arms were weak from weeks of very little use. Soon, she was naked and sitting in the warm water.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No."

Even she was surprised by how quickly she answered. He sat down on the closed toilet seat and diverted his gaze to the opposite direction. She took the clean washcloth from the side of the circular tub and lathered it with soap. The soap smelled like musky lavender; it was calming her shaking nerves. She fumbled with the wet washcloth, trying to wash this horrible night from her skin.

"Iruka? Could you help me again?"

His face was bright red when he turned back around, trying to advert his eyes to the ceiling.

"A-Are you sure? I don;t want to make you uncomfortable."

She couldn't help but grin a litle at this very courteous man.

"Lots of men have seen me naked. What's one more?"

She didn't mean to make it sound so sad; it really didn't bother her, it was more that she didn't want to make him uncomfortable. It was as if Ryujin and his cronies had stolen her sense of shame from her. At least this man wasn't hurting her, which was really her only fear.

He moved from the toilet to the wooden platform surrounding the circular tub. Taking the cloth gently from her hands, he began to wash her back tenderly.  She hunched over, resting her chin on her knees, and closed her eyes.  This gentleness from the people around her was something she was quickly beginning to enjoy.

"I'm sorry tonight has been so rough, Iruka."

"Don't be.  I'm happy you're here."

She blushed a little at his kind words.

"That's so strange to hear.  No one's ever said that to me before I came here."

"It's because we really enjoy your company."

He finished washing her and was now cupping water gently against her back, letting it run down her boney back and shoulders.

"Do you think it may help if I pull my mattress into your room?  I mean, that's how it's been almost since the day you arrived."

"Iruka, I can't ask you to keep doing that-"

"I don;t mind.  I'd like you to have a peaceful sleep.  I know this place is a lot different than the hospital."

She found herself nodding.

"Okay, as long as you don;t mind."

He helped her wash her hair; very well this time.  She finally felt like she had washed the hospital away.  This was her new life, and she was going to do her best to embrace it... and not let it overwhelm her.

"Lean your head back; I'll help you rinse your hair."

As she tilted her head abck slowly, she could feel her body tense.  Flashbacks of torture at the hands of previous captors... drowning... gasping...   She lurched back up, breathing heavily.

"Was that too much?  Sorry, Haru.  I'll be more sensitive to what you've been through.  I didn't even think..."

He let his voice trail off.  She took another deep breath, trying to calm herself before turning and giving him a small smile."

"It's not your fault.  We're both learning."

Not being overwhelmed was going to be difficult, but she was beginning to be able to trust.  Maybe she could allow herself to allow him to help her cope and adapt.