My Sunshine

Blow Up - Iruka / Haru's Anger - Haru

For as good as things had been the previous night, Haru seemed off this morning.

He could tell that Haru was getting upset, but he didn't know why. He wasn't sure why she was slamming things around. Everything had been so good. Peeking around the corner of her bedroom door, she was sitting on her bed with her head in her hands.

"Haru?"

She jumped up, startled.

"S-Sorry."

"For what? Is everything okay? You seem upset."

For as good as things were last night, she shut down, staring at the ground.

"Haru? May I come in?"

She continued to stare quietly at the ground, nodding slowly. He entered, kneeling on the floor so he could peer up at her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't mean to have an outburst. Sorry."

"That was an outburst?"

Her voice came out as a squeak.

"I can't find my hairbrush."

She began to cry. He wanted to reach out and hold her so badly right now; to comfort her. Instead, he looked up, giving her a small, tender smile and treated her gently, much like he would with one of the younger students at the Academy.

"Oh no! Can I help you find it?"

She looked up at him, a little surprised.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Let me help you."

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and nodded. He stood up.

"I'll check around the apartment."

He walked out to the living room, checking the side table before heading to the bathroom to check there. He was secretly happy that she agreed to let him help; she was normally closed off. Maybe things were beginning to turn around, especially after their night at the teahouse. She could trust him; he would never hurt her. He wanted desperately for her to know that.

It was laying there next to the sink. He picked it up and returned to her room.

"I've found it."

She turned from her dresser drawer that she was rooting through and he handed it to her. She gave him a little smile.

"Thank you, Iruka."

He felt his face flush as she continued.

"You're very kind."

He looked into her eyes.

"Blow up, Haru. Let everything out whenever you need to. Expressing your emotions is healthy; don't bottle them up. I can handle it."

She gazed at him with a shocked look on her face, nodding slowly. He gave her a grin before turning and walking out of her bedroom, happier than he had been since the evening before.

***

As he left, she sat down on the bed, still surprised.

Blow up.

She couldn't remember the last time that she blew up. It wasn't a luxury that she had before coming here. When survival depended on staying sweet and submissive, you learned to play the game. 

But, here, there appeared to be no game. If she was going to stay here, could she undo what she had become? Could she remember who she was before? 

Her life had become hell when she was ten, when her mother died, followed by two long years of struggling after that. 

Her father was the king, but her mother really was the leader of the Dragon Island: She truly knew how to take shit and turn it into security for her people. The Island was full of poisonous plants, her mother once told her.  It truly was a useless place, but sometimes you do what you needed to do.

The island was settled by people who were turned away by the Cresent Moon Kindom.  She was the heir to the shithole.  Much of it was barren.  It was not a nice place to live.  Her mother did what she could with the nothing she had.  She sold what she could from the Island, and she sold her body for the essentials the Island could not afford. All the while, her mother promised that she would protect her.

And then... she was killed.

That was the last time Haru could remember feeling anger.  Anger that her mother could leae her alone with her father, who did not like her.  He looked at her with disgust.  he never wanted a daughter; he considered them useless.

After that, they starved and struggled. The entire Island. For two long years. And then Ryujin appeared, and everything changed. He promised her father that they wouldn't struggle any more if her father followed the stranger's instructions. Commerce began happening again...

During this time, her father stopped thinking that a daughter was so useless.  He allowed Ryujin to sell her body to strangers.  She had quickly become part of the Dragon Island's economy, just as her mother had.

And then... everyone began to change.  Pills were being distributed through the kingdom and everyone became a zombie. Even she could feel the change in herself. 

The zombie change wasn't horrible for her as Ryujin had began to abuse her himself as well: he would come into her bedroom at night and fuck her until she bled. He would call her his little sex doll, and the abuse quickly began to escalate. He would tie her up some nights, bash her in the face other nights. His thugs would take turns with her, or he would ship her out to other villages, trading her body for provisions or other favors.

Twelve long years.

For half of her life, she had endured this. She had lost any anger that was inside of her. Now, there was only a broken adult. 

How could she show anger? What was anger? Even if she knew, she had no reason to show it to the people in this village. The only hint of it she had felt toward Iruka was when she awoke. When a man saved her from death. But, even she knew that anger was misplaced. And now, she was beginning to feel attached to him, like what the fuck? Hadn't she had enough of men?

She turned and, with every bit of strength she had, ran her fist into the wall. Shockingly, her fist went through the drywall. And then pain surged up her arm. Iruka was in the doorway just as she pulled her fist out gingerly. He just watched as she examined her hand. Then, a small smile spread across his face.

"Trying it out?"

She gazed at him and wanted to smile, but couldn't.

"I think I broke my wrist."

The smile disappeared from his lips quickly as he gently took her injured wrist in his hands. He bent it gently.

"Does that hurt?"

She nodded; he furrowed his brow.

"I don;t think it's broken, but you've probably strained it. Come to the bathroom, let me bandage it."

She followed him to the bathroom, sitting down on the closed toilet lid as he fumbled through the medicine cabinet, reappearing with some bandages. Kneeling down next to her, gently brushing the drywall dust from her hand before stretching the bandages across her hand and wrist gently. When he finished, he smiled at her. It took her breath away. 

"Keep it up, Haru. I'm proud of you."

"I'm sorry about your wall."

He shrugged.

"A small price to pay for your piece of mind."

"I'm going out to tonight to meet Anko for dinner.  You're welcome to come."

She gave him a small smile.

"I think I will."