My Sunshine

An Ocean Of Sadness - Haru

"We've only been back in school for two hours, Enkai, and you're already here."

Haru watched a young man skulk in and take a seat across from her desk, obviously waiting to be reprimanded for something by the Principal. Snarling at Anko as she walked by, she ignored him. Haru put her head down: she didn't want to get into it with the angry young man.

Suddenly, there was screaming coming from the hallway. It sent a chill down Haru's spine, unsure of what was about to happen next. This place might be more than she could handle right now. 

Anko looked over at her with a slight look of panic on her face, and Haru realized what their meeting was about last night. Iruka had obviously asked Anko to keep an eye out for her. And right now, she wouldn't be able to do that.

"Haru... wait here. I'll be right back."

Anko rushed out of the office, leaving Haru and the young man alone. She looked up at him, but when their eyes locked a moment later, she didn't look away. She was expecting to have a knee jerk reaction to him, but she didn't see anything threatening. Instead, she saw an ocean of sadness. Maybe he recognized the sadness in hers as well, because his expression changed to a softer one. Her voice came out small and weak, but it came out.

"Are you okay?"

After a moment, Enkai shook his head no.

"Why not?"

He just stared at her for a while, but Haru could sense that the boy was not going to hurt her. And then, he spoke.

"Why aren't you okay?"

She blinked at him, even though, inside, his question had knocked the air out of her lungs.

"Because I had my head kicked in three months ago by a man who abused me for a decade."

Her quiet answer was met with more silence.

"I'm not cut out to be a shinobi, and it's the only thing I've ever wanted. My mom wants it so much for me; to be like my dad. He died in the war, and I'm supposed to continue his legacy. But I suck at it."

She stuck out her bottom lip in thought. She really felt for him.

"But, you are your dad's legacy, just by being his son. You don;t need to be a shinobi to do that."

He scoffed.

"You're new to Konoha, obviously."

"I think that idea is universal. My mom died when I was eight, and she left me an entire island. After a while, I realized that I did not need to pick up my mother's mantle to be her legacy. I already am.  that's why I'm here, and not there."

The young man looked as if he may cry.

"But how?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know. Just don't do it anymore. Or at least take the pressure off of yourself. You probably don't suck at it; you're probably just trying too hard. You have to do this for yourself. Lighten up and see if being a shinobi is something that you want to do. It's your life; you have to be the one to live it."

He closed his eyes and she saw tears flow down his cheeks. She stood up and made her way over to the boy, leaning down and giving him a hug. She noticed the boy was gazing at her burnt, scarred arm, and even touched the numb skin lightly around her wrist. The place where she had been rope burned severely. She didn't mind; this child didn't bother her. He was too young to fully understand that there are some things that are worse than death.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom and take a few minutes to calm down alone? I'll cover for you-"

Glancing over she saw Iruka in the doorway with Anko. her face flushed as she scrambled back to her desk.

"Enkai, go take a minute. It's the first day, just try to stay on Ebisu's good side. You're not in trouble. Go calm down and head back to class."

Enkai glanced over at her once more before leaving the office. Haru tried to busy herself with things at her desk, hoping not to incur any anger from Iruka. But soon Iruka was sitting at his own desk, gazing at her. Anko left the doorway, heading back down the hall and leaving the two of them alone.

"Enkai has trouble since his mom enrolled him five years ago. Right after his dad died. She, like a lot of other parents who lost loved ones in the war, wanted their children to carry on their family legacies. And that's really unfair. Enkai feels as if he needs to earn his place in his family, but he's already part of the family. He is the future of his clan, shinobi or not. This is why Sakura's work with the Children's Mental Health Clinic is so important. We have a lot of kids who need someone to talk to; and some need to unlearn these toxic ideas."

Haru was a little surprised that she wasn't reprimanded at all. Instead, he continued.

"What you said to him is all true, and has been said before. But maybe hearing it from you will have a different effect. Someone who didn't know his father and isn't a shinobi."

She listened to him quietly, only speaking when he was finished.

"Sorry, Iruka."

He seemed caught off guard by her apology.

"Huh? For what?"

"That was the first kid sent to your office as the Principal and you didn;t get to handle it."

He laughed.

"You can run interference for me anytime you'd like. I don't want to sit here and yell at kids all day. Feel free to step in."

He gave her a kind smile and she returned it. She hadn't even been here a full day and she had already done something good. She helped someone, which was something she couldn't remember doing before. She couldn't even help herself. But, here she was, working and making money and helping someone. She watched as Iruka turned back to his paperwork, still smiling.

She couldn't help but smile, too.