LA Runaways

18. On Your Own

A/N - I feel like this part is a piece of shit but here you go, also I didn't spell check or grammar check this because i'm lazy- Lana

April 13th, 1985

Y/Ns POV

It had been two months of you working for the magazine, you've only published one article but people seemed to like it, everyone was proud of you
You hadn't been able to see Amber in a bit so you had a celebratory shopping trip with her today.

After wasting some of your money, you drove home, you pulled up to the house and saw another car parked in the driveway, you assumed it was one of Nikki's friends, you walked inside the house and yelled
"I'm back"

You didn't hear any noise so you walked upstairs, you opened the bedroom door to find Nikki and Nicole asleep in the bed, you looked to the side table and saw a little baggie, spoon and needle, they probably shot up, fucked, then passed out, you had only been gone for two hours.

"What the fuck" you said
They didn't even hear you, you walked over and shook Nikki
"Nikki who the fuck..., what the hell" you said
"Hey babe" he said
The girl woke up
"Omg I thought you said she'd be gone" Nicole said
"Get the fuck out my house" you yelled
"Your house" Nikki said
"This is my house not yours, I just let you stay here cause you don't have a job"
"Oh well maybe you forget where i've been this past month but I have a job you dumb fuck" you said

Nicole grabbed her clothes and left
"Why was she here, did you fuck her" you asked
"Yeah, it's not a big deal, it's not like we're married or something, besides you never want to have fun with me and she does" he stated
"Oh you mean I never want to shoot up with you" you said
"Whatever" he said
"We've been together almost four years, I don't.. I just don't understand" you said
"I love you, you love me, we have a dog, a house, this isn't okay" you yelled
"I'm just trying to have fun, I never said I wanted a white picket fence life" he said
"I was gone for two hours"
"God i've tried so hard to help you, and be there for you but"
"Fuck you, this is done, WERE DONE" you yelled
"I WAS GETTING BORED ANYWAYS" he yelled as you walked away
"GOOD MAYBE ILL FINALLY HAVE TIME TO FOCUS ON MYSELF FOR ONCE" you yelled
"Have fun trying, everyone knows that you can't stand on your own" he said
"PIECE OF SHIT, good luck finding someone who's gonna help clean you up when your so high you can't walk" you yelled back
He threw a big pillow at you and you fell over
"I DON'T NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF ME" he yelled
"Then I guess you don't care if I LEAVE" you yelled trying to stand up
(picturing nikki throwing a pillow and then you falling makes me laugh, sorry back to the fight)

You literally grabbed nothing, you just wanted to get the fuck out of that house, you hopped in your car and drove off, you pulled over to the side of the road, where the hell were you gonna go, what was going to happen. You started sobbing, you loved Nikki and wanted to help him, but he obviously doesn't want help, he's fine sitting alone in his house so fucked that he can't function.

You didn't want to show up at Ambers house and ruin her night, so you went to the nicest people you could think of in the moment.
You pulled up in front of Tommy's house where his girlfriend Heather lived with him, you got out of the car and knocked on the door, Heather opened the door and looked at you standing there with tears in your eyes,
"What happened, come inside" she said
"Nikki.. I.. he" you said
"Just sit down i'll be right back" she said
She walked back in carrying two beers
"Here"
"Thanks" you said
"Well I got home and that slut from the studio was in bed with him" you said stuttering
"Fuckin Nikki, you guys have been together so long you should be married, I can't believe he did that" she replied
"Yeah I know he just threw me away for drugs, they were shooting up together, I guess she can provide something I won't" you said
"Ever since i've moved here my life has been revolved around him and our relationship, he never really cared that much about my life, I was just there to hold him, and coddle him when he wanted it." you said
"You can stay here until you find your own place,Tommy and I don't mind" she said
"Thanks, i'm going head to bed now i'm really tired" you said getting up
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You woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror, you looked a wreck, with good reason, Nikki had just beaten your heart with a hammer and proceeded to put it in a blender.

You knew you had to go back to the house to get your stuff, it had only been one night but you rather get your stuff now then go back later, you pulled up to the house and luckily Nikki wasn't home, you used your key to get in, you walked upstairs, you went into the closet and grabbed your bag, you started stuffing it with your clothes, it made you cry to think that the life you've been living with Nikki was over.

You then walked into the office, there were books, and papers everywhere, you and Nikki both liked reading books, and you both wrote stuff. You grabbed your current journal and left the rest behind, there trash anyway. As you walked out of office you heard the front door open,
"Shit" you whispered
You took a another step and heard a yell
"Who's here" Nikki yelled
He ran up the stairs with a bat
"Jesus christ it's just me, I was just getting my stuff" you said
"Oh okay" he said and walked past me
You said goodbye to Whisky and walked out the door

You stuffed your bags in the car, and drove back to Tommy's place,  the next day you got ready for work and tried to look as presentable as possible.

You were sitting at your desk going over events that were coming up for the magazine, your work friend Carrie walked up to you,
"Hey are you okay, you look really depressed" she said
"Wow thanks" you said with a smile
"Oh god i'm sorry, just wanted to make sure your okay" she replied
"It's fine, i'm just going thru a breakup" you said
"Omg you and Nikki broke up"
"Yeah I don't want to talk about it.. do you know of any apartment buildings around, I need my own place" you said
"I'm sorry.. and yeah actually I saw a for rent sign near my place, here's the address" she said and wrote down the address
"Thanks Carrie" you said
"Yeah, well I gotta go, i'm interviewing Guns N'Roses  for the upcoming bands column this month" she said
"Oh nice, have fun" you said

You checked out the apartment after work, it was a one bedroom and the rent wasn't horrible, it was near Hancock park, you ended up renting it since you didn't want to bother Tommy and Heather, you literally had nothing, no furniture just your clothes, makeup, bathroom stuff, and your journal.

Furnishing your apartment was an unexpected investment but it felt like a step in the right direction to figuring out your life.
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