PLAYLIST. nct dream

092

playlist

erisa nakahana

        I was panicking habang tumatakbo ako papuntang faculty, I'm even holding my plate carefully kasi baka mahulog. My heart is beating so fast dahil sa kaba at kakatakbo, it's so hot too, sobrang tirik ang araw kaya't napapahid ako sa sariling pawis.

I stop infront of the faculty room, I inhale sharply as I gather all the courage I had. I knock on the door, after receiving a permission to enter, agad kong' binuksan ang pintuan at binati si Mr. Austerio.

I was sweating buckets once again, not because of the heat but because of nervousness. I nervously smile at Mr. Austerio, isa sa engineer naming prof.

I presented the plate that I needed to pass to him that was due two days ago. for the first time, I'm submitting a project late.

"that was unexpected of you ms. nakahana." he started, I can see the disappointment in his eyes. what jeno said about me being one of Mr. Austerio's favourite student was true. Mr. Austerio was always impressed with my works, I was one of the top students too kaya siguro I become one of his favourites.

and as a top student, I don't usually slack off.

"yes sir," I simply responded, not even bothering to offer an excuse.

I can't just tell him that I fought with my boyfriend reason why I was distracted this past few weeks, that would be unreasonable.

"well, I'm accepting since it is the first time this is happening hopefully it would also be the last." he stated then accepted my plate, "but ofcourse, your score will be deducted." I purse my lips into a thin line as I nodded. I'm sure that deduction will affect my grades.

"thank you sir." he let me go after that kaya agad din ako nakabalik ng classroom.

I passed all my projects and requirements, retake all the exams that is needed to be retake and successfully take all my exams. and just like that, exam season was over.

but I couldn't find the peace me in, I can't relax after everything. ofcourse, I couldn't, I simply can't, afterall, may jaemin pa akong problema.

its been two weeks since jaemin and I last talked. I don't even know if that would be consider as 'talk'. After our fight, I cut all means of communication with him, it will just drive me insane. so I lay low and stay away from social media for awhile.

I lay low and protected the thin string of sanity I had.

after failing a quiz and almost, almost submitting a project late last time I decided I should focus on my studies more. I'm already in my last year, konti nalang ggraduate na ako. I can't slip up and fail just because I fought with jaemin.

but man, that two weeks wasn't easy.

studying and preparing for the exams while cramming my projects wasn't easy especially when your heart isn't at your work. I can't completely focus, my mind keep on travelling back to jaemin, questioning what really happened, the story behind the picture of him and hannah hanging out. I was tempted to message him a lot of time, a part of me knows I'm being unreasonable, but knowing that guy, I know our conversations wouldn't end well. I just know it wouldn't.

If we're going to talk, it is better if we do it personally.

and he didn't reach out to me inside that two weeks too, fueling all the emotions I'm keeping inside.