Heyoo!

Silently existing

🇺🇸🇬🇧🇺🇸🇬🇧ENGLISCH🇺🇸🇬🇧🇺🇸🇬🇧

Hey there, back at it again with a new chapter for y'all! This is not gonna be anything special or serving any purpose whatsoever (but since this is a way of expressing myself, it might help me to deal with my thoughts).

I just wanna show y'all that I'm in fact still here.

!Hola!

We're not gonna have much content in this chapter, but since you're on my profile, I guess you're already used to that anyway!
Ha! Me is so funny!

I'm here to talk to you about my act of pretty much just silently existing.
More or less "silently", because I do throw in my two pennies every once in a while.

But in general, I'm nowhere near as active on Wattpad as I used to be in 2019. Hate to break it to you, but I'm not even sorry.

What it was like back then:

•meeting so many (too many) cool people on here and getting to know them

•actually reading and finishing multiple books (like... I was actually reading a shit ton of stuff for MY standards)

•actually writing multiple books. Not really completing a lot of them, but atleast getting shit done on here!
This makes me feel nostalgic about summer break of 2019. I was living my best life not leaving my room for six weeks except for the toilet and the fridge. I guess some things never change, do they?
But you know, I was actually productive at that time. I was on my laptop 24/7, writing new chapters, plotting my plans, planning my plots and editing chapters and boom - happiness. That was seriously something so great. Staying up till 7.30 am, listening to chillhop mixes and the 10 hour rain version of the Persona 5 soundtrack and getting motherfucking shit done. Finishing a book and starting to publish it, planning others and actually keeping the drafts, coming up with new ideas. And then getting up at 4 pm and getting yelled at because you're a bat. Well, I can't help it. And thus concludes the cycle.
Until... school was back in session.

•Somewhat of a good upload schedule. I'n not saying I currently don't have one. If saying that "If I have shit for ya, you'll see it on Saturday" is a schedule...
I mean, I don't have shit currently, you know?

Which brings me to the situation at the moment:

•I do not have shit to give you guys. (Yeah, you guys. All 2½ of you!)
I just don't have the time and energy to get shit done at the moment. You'd think that with more than 4 months of not going out over the past year, I'd have enough time to do atleast something productive... but nah. Just not at all. I mean, I didn't completely abandon drawing again like I did a few years ago, so I'd say not ultimately dropping a hobby is my equivalent to keeping a hobby. Probably can't get anymore positive than that.
I'm also on my laptop 24/7 but I actually don't get anything done in front of it anymore. Except for drinking an average of 1½ liters of tea in about three hours. On a daily fucking basis. Although I normally don't even finish a liter in 24 hours. And I usually don't drink tea (they're not selling any punch anymore, send help).
As I said, the only thing I'm really productive at in front of my laptop is developing addiction-like habits and ignoring text messages since my phone has been on mute for like 4 full months now. And that coming from somebody who only has it muted for school and other important occasions should speak for itself. I've heard people tell me, they always have their phone on mute and that they didn't even know any other lifestyle. And I was like: "Whuaaaa?!", but turns out I should've tried that a long time ago and now I regret it. Nice.

Okay, back to the actual topic of not finishing projects.
•I don't have enough ideas to fully plan them. Like, I get a lot of new ideas for books and other projects (I really wanna say I feel like they are too much) - but not enough.
"Oh, the protagonists are gonna have to save the kingdom on their own? Cool story, bro. But how are they gonna do it? Like, what are they gonna need to find, what kind of quest is it, what kind of things do they have to take care of? Oh, you don't know yet? Yeah well, guess you won't even have to think about writing that story in the near future."
This is just how it is!
And then I need more time and energy to plan all of that. About twice as much as I already have!
Oh haha, wait a second! 0 times 2 is still 0! Well, guess I'll die!