naruto oneshots

i was all over him

modern au • obito's pov

xxx

obito has amnesia. he doesn't remember everything.

it's hard to live without knowing everything. it's difficult to function when you just can't recall things about your own body, or things you did two seconds ago.

it makes him feel weak, and it always gives him a feeling that his friends and family feel neglected or overlooked.

as a result, obito also suffers from depression.

his friends always have so much to say, so many things to talk about. they always have so many emotions when telling these stories, and they seem so lively. usually, obito is forced to tolerate these raves, though it isn't like it matters. "it isn't like i'll remember anything about it in a week," he once sought to his grandmother.

obito never has stories to tell his friends, mostly because he doesn't remember his childhood very well. he's had amnesia for twenty one years now and only select things stick with him.

plus, obito doesn't do much of anything nowadays. he's so weak on the inside that it's hard to do much of anything.

he feels like an hourglass; they're always moving, but with what purpose? it isn't like the sand will be anywhere else except for a few inches down. from one section to the other.

emotions are off the table. no matter how hard he smiles, he feels no emotion; not even sadness. obito doesn't remember the last time he cried or felt the urge to scream, to laugh, to do much of anything.

kakashi and rin know this. they've known it for fourteen years. they're the best friends obito has ever received.

and they also know that obito desperately wants to feel something, to be somebody, to be a man with a purpose or a goal. "what goals do you have?" rin once asked her friend. obito didn't bother to divert his gaze to her.

(he once fell in love with her. those feelings are long gone, though.

obito barely remembers it, anyway. it was an irrelevant part of his lifetime.)

"i'm not sure," he replied softly. "i'd... i'd like to smile again. that would be great."

in their younger years, obito would crack jokes nonstop, smile constantly; he was unstoppable. it's been painful for obito, rin, and his grandmother to watch the slow decline.

"then come with me to a party," rin offered, smiling at him with a specific softness in her delicate voice. "you might be able to forget some things for a while. it's just at this friend's house."

the three of them used to go to parties all the time. they'd go every weekend, though it's extremely rare now due to the fact that they're all maturing.

obito was too tired to oblige.

he doesn't know what his goal was at the party. 'why did i even come in the first place? to forget? isn't that all i ever do?' he thought, following rin into the house.

it was a large house, larger than his family's, he will admit. and there were lots of people.

the first few minutes were plain; no out of the ordinary events occurred.

until obito caught a glimpse of gold in his eyes, it traveling through the crowd at a rapid pace.

so, on instinct, he followed it.

he memorized its shape - it was long and flowed with the energy of the party.

once obito located goldilocks again, he stared from a distance. his long, blonde hair trailed down his backside and was parted oddly, yet still managed to look fantastic on the strange boy.

their eyes locked and obito found himself drowning in a deep blue sea.

he has a decent memory of what happened next. obito was all over him, though they never shared names or talked much.

they didn't make out or do anything. he was just lonely and could tell that the stranger was too.

obito is used to his amnesia; but when every stranger makes him feel safer and seems more beautiful, it makes obito want to forget all about his mental illnesses. he wishes he was able to see the gold flash for a few more seconds.

after all, why release the things that make you smile into the wild?

xxx

girl this hurt to write😩

716 words