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Dear Miyoung,
If you're reading this now, it means that I could no longer fight the inevitable. Maybe if I hadn't pushed you away it would have saved me, but it's too late now for the 'what ifs' that are impossible to reverse.
I hope that if you learnt anything over the years of our valuable friendship, it's that you were the only person who truly understood me and helped me even if I didn't express myself properly.
With you by my side, especially for the months gone by, I was happy. My seemingly undying pain that I fought with for years suddenly numbed when you smiled or when you showed your kindness towards me, even if I destroyed the bond we had.
It seems that although I was getting better, it wasn't enough. My heart ached with this unbearable pain last night. There wasn't one definable moment that led to this, but instead the years that had built up, and the pain that could no longer be contained that pushed me to where I am now.
I hope you know that although I was selfish to do this and to leave you and our families behind, that I'm peaceful wherever I am, and that I don't want you mourning for too long.
I know you're sad right now as you read this, and you're entitled to feel such a way, but I want you to graduate a happy girl with a great grade in your favourite subject...music.
I will miss you, Mi. I truly will. But I know that you will go on to do everything you are capable of and more.
You're a dreamer, little Miyoung. Make them come true for my sake.
So, to not leave this on a horrible low, know that I hung on so long for you. I needed to hug you again, to tell you how truly grateful I was and still am to you. Never forget that.
Treasure your family and care for my parents as I'm sure their heartbroken.
I'll watch over you Kim Miyoung. I will never let anything happen to you.
