AHAANA
Our room was surrounded by some strange energy. Silence. Silence was the only thing I could feel. I was still wrapped in Arushi's arms, and for a moment, all I could think was that I never want to leave her. I just want to hug her tight..... till the end. I really needed it.
After a while, when she sensed that I'd completely stopped crying, she softly pulled me towards a chair and made me sit on it. I was breathing heavily. Moorna offered me a glass of water, and I kept it holding until my body temperature matched the water's. It felt pretty uncomfortable around Moorna, as she never saw me like this before, plus, it was quite soon to open up and show my vulnerabilities to her.
For Arushi, me being like this was completely normal, but for Moorna, who didn't even know me for more than just a day, it was really weird.
Fresh tears started to appear again. I was unable to stop myself from thinking about the incident which took place in the library. Arushi was constantly looking at me. I didn't know what she might be thinking. She opened her mouth to say something, but when our eyes met, there was nothing to say, except the unwanted silence.
Suddenly, Arushi started nodding and ran towards her bed. I looked towards her side and could easily see her fumble in nervousness. She blindly buried her hands inside my backpack and her eyes were busy looking elsewhere. After a few minutes, she appeared to stand in front of me.
"I know that this isn't the right time to talk to you about it, or even say anything about it. But a small place inside my heart is not ready to give up on it." She was standing tall and her eyes were demanding my attention.
"Wh-what are you trying to say?" My lips moved but there wasn't any sound. Arushi forwarded my laptop towards me. I tried to rub my eyes so that I could decrease the effect of blurriness.
'An-Exit' The more I'm trying to push myself away from this application, the more it's forcing itself on my entire existence.
"Aru-" I saw Arushi's face and my eyes again went blurry. Several thoughts engaged my mind as I saw her place her hand on my hand. She really had full faith in me. Without even asking or wanting any type of explanation from my side, she accepts my silence as her answer.
Arushi gave me a wide smile. I've never seen her so positive over these past years.
"Ahaana, store your tears in the form of an energy source to fuel up your happiness. I don't think that the little soul inside you is that frail!" She's being poetic right now?
She took the glass from my hands and placed the laptop instead of it. I moved my eyes to see her and her eyes only suggested taking a trial.
She knew that there was always a thing which I tried to hide from her. She never complained about it. She believes in giving space to everyone. If that thing turns out to be less important than her, then that would surely be acknowledged by her. I scrolled down the website without saying a word. I put the software for downloading, and in the meantime, just stare at the downloading process, the bar slowly filling up, and the time left for the download gradually decreased.
I glanced at Moorna. She was standing at a distance, quiet. It's difficult to understand Moorna. But..... There's nobody's fault in making me feel this way, this weak and this helpless.
It was 8:00pm, and I was left with an empty stomach and an incomplete project. I scrolled down the application and went through all the 'terms and conditions' mentioned before agreeing. 'Female' click. The option for a name was not given. It was already filled with 'anonymous'. Are you from MU? Click. Mention your PRN number. 'DONE, now what!' I slowly scrolled down the page and saw a question which stated, 'Problem troubling' What does this mean? I guess that we need to write about the problem we are facing, maybe the reason why we have chosen to opt for this very application. There was a box under the question, where we needed to write about our problem, but it wasn't compulsory to fill. But at that moment, my brain was not in the condition to question itself. So, I typed PTSD in capital letters and put a tick on the confirmation message, which asked if the information given was correct or not.
(PTSD stands for, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened.)
After struggling with the basic information chart, I finally reached the end page, where an icon was highlighted on the screen. It was some kind of a letter. I clicked on the icon and a plain sheet appeared on the screen.
"Ahaana have this, sorry for not taking care of you, I shouldn't have left you." A hand touched my shoulder. That was Arushi. It was a packet of biscuit.
"Thank you, I really needed this." I smiled. "Fracases fall apart when vague lights gradually turn mellow, Arushi. You only taught me to share smiles, as they could cure someone else's pain when you fail to remove yours." I took the packet and waved a goodnight to her.
"Okay, the lines which I used earlier were not at all used to provoke your poetic side." She smiled ear to ear and her hand moved with each word she said.
"Noisy arguments fade away, when unclear lights turn soft and low. It's hard to see things in the dark. Even if it's something threatening to your life. But you..... You're my light in a dark room. My soft light, Arushi. You're the reason I'm still able to manage my life." My voice became heavier. She turned back and her eyes were moist. We shared a comfortable silence and after a while she went to sleep.
The room was completely dark. The brightness of the laptop made my eyes heavy and red. Within seconds, I felt a little sensation of burns under my eyelids. I took a deep breath and my head spun with a jerk. I just wanted to scream. Scream as much as I could. Louder.
'Tears don't lie and if they do, then never go for words' the line was mentioned on top of the letter.
My fingers started moving on the keypad, softly clicking every alphabet present on it. The words were combined to form a poem and my pain was juggling in between the paragraphs. Moreover, I was completely blank, but I think that my hands weren't. I moved my eyes away from the screen and felt goosebumps on my skin. I closed my eyes and tried to understand them, to ask them, what did they want to explain every time they appeared?
My goosebumps know me better than anyone in my life. After an hour or two, my fingers stopped typing. I looked at the screen and saw a poem. I wrote a poem!
Should I send this? Letters choose their receiver on their own, right? Arushi also wants me to do this!
My head felt heavy and I could feel my eyes close.
Shut.
.
.
.
.
Finally she decided to use An-EXIT!!!!!!!! AAAAaaaaAHHHHH----
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I'm sorry guys that I didn't add the letter here, but it's on the way! I hope it'll be worth the wait!!!! *_*
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///Please do share, vote and comment. It just makes my day more special! :)))
YOU ARE READING
An-EXIT
Teen Fiction'You're afraid of the things, You never thought you ever would be!' Ahaana Jaiswal, a girl buried in the layers of her suffocating past memories, chooses a profession which she never desired. Gadgets and robots, a bachelor's degree in Electrical and...
