An-EXIT

CHAPTER 2 (A BLESSING)

MITANSH

Hey, I'm Mitansh Arora. A simple and stubborn child, who is going to be 20 this month, so it's okay if you'd like to call me a teenager on the verge of his teen's last stage, rather than a 'child'. Was that too sudden? Haha, never mind.

This is my third year of college. I'm a student of software engineering who loves gardening. Yeah, you got it right. If you can't find me in the labs or in my dorm, staring at the laptop, then you should probably search for me in the Southeast block's garden area. You could bless your eyes while watching me water a bunch of flowers there. Hey c'mon, I was just kidding.

Even if there's a sudden attack of rain, or of thunder, or even of those gushing winds, those little plants never fail to surprise me. They stand still at one point, protecting and supporting each other. Many times, they lose their control and faintly move with the force. It might feel a little philosophical, but they truly explain the value of togetherness, support and happiness.

So, I'm a diehard fan of greenery and maybe this isn't new anymore, chuckles. Personally, I don't feel comfortable letting people know about this, even if they're my friends. Not because it feels shady or would become a topic for debate, or moreover like, Aww Mitansh, you're such a down to earth person, so sweet, so sensitive, so kind, so gentle, Okay enough with that, but actually, I wanted it to be a 'me' thing. You get it right, A me ME thing?

So, to connect myself with nature, I found a secluded area, which is more often neglected by art students. I mean like how? I went there, stayed there and just after a few minutes, I found myself happy there. After my classes, I would disappear for an hour or two, walk to my special place and let myself lose in the sinking ground, while lying over the cool grass and watching blue skies over my head. Therapeutic.

I had spent restless days, just searching for an area, and now, after I've achieved my goal, why would I even let it go? It was pretty tough in the beginning, as those MU magazine's writers followed me wherever I went, and on the other hand, Inayat was performing her level best to keep me close to herself, but c'mon, your man got a plan. They both were acting like a predator in my life and this time, I refused to surrender.

Inayat Sehgal, my best friend and now my present girlfriend, tries her level best to make my world a happy place, which I don't know why she thinks was not a happy place before. As per her, the more we're with our friends, the more we're with ourselves. But woman, it's just your freaking opinion, not a written fact.

I don't know why, but she fails to understand me? Like, all my friends know that I'm not the type of person who stays at one place, tied with the same people, every freaking day. They never questioned my lifestyle, but- Inayat does!

I don't want to become a person who is forced to reason, when there is nothing to be explained.

I wasn't running, actually why would I? It was a search for peace, and nobody has a right to snatch it from me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm into a relationship which I never wanted to stay in and maybe- it was true.

Famous, good-looking, sharp brain and even has a girlfriend, just a perfect life that one could ask for, right? But we can't ignore the fact that even a coin has two sides.

My life in software engineering was never my dream. Actually, it is like a goal to me. Everything which was happening in my life, was only to reach that one damned goal, the goal on which my whole life depended.

My younger brother, who is also the reason behind a new meaning to my life, is like a blessing to me. Though we don't share the same blood, the bond we have today is all I care about.

In my past years, I was so dumb that I'd failed to acknowledge my brother's tears. He is the person who had been through the deepest and shallowest points of his life and I-I didn't even know about it, just nothing... blank.

I regret every second of my life that I've wasted fighting and questioning my father over their entry in our lives. I did feel the guilt rushing through my veins, but I couldn't handle the pain. I wasn't that strong. I tried to stop the hurricane of questions in my brain by telling myself ....I was young, I was a child who lost his mother, a child who was scared to share his only father with another boy. I was angry. The question of why my father married a woman so early broke me. I was not in my senses and threw tantrums as they were the only weapons I could use to hurt them.

Everything became so faded, that it felt like I was watching things from a dirty glass. But the only thing which appeared crystal clear in the end....was, I failed to recognize the situation.

After a year of their moving in, I witnessed my brother's mental health striking down straight to the hell. At that time, I was infuriated and was not able to forgive my behavior, my stupidity, and mainly my own self. Mom was so kind to me, every time I hurt her, she would end up smiling with tears in her eyes. And like a fool, I never noticed that her smile drenched in pain had become a part of the guilt which was piling up within me.

From that day, I decided to do something for my brother and chose software engineering as my profession. I aimed to create an application which could help others, who are in pain, scattered in their bedsheets, alone. People who don't have anyone to talk to, who need a friend on whom they could lean and rely on. And from that thought,

Anxiety Exit,

the An-EXIT emerged.