An-EXIT

CHAPTER 36 (ON THE VERGE)

MITANSH

"I'm coming." Those two words took every ounce of energy in me, to come out as normal. My eyes were stuck on Ahaana but my mind was filled with solutions to, What should I do next?

There was never a point of choosing between Ahaana and An-EXIT, but for the first time, I have felt more than responsibility towards An-EXIT. I always felt like whatever I was doing throughout my whole life, from picking the software engineering degree to creating An-EXIT, was just because of Maahir. Like, he was the reason behind every step I took in my life.

The feeling of guilt of not being able to do something for him, the regret of not being able to become a good big brother, the urge to balance everything by giving my whole life to him messed up my brain. I wanted to do something to recover all the mistakes, all the wrong decisions I took back then. But, when I heard the news of An-EXIT being copied, there was a sudden shift, a heart stopping emotion passed through my body. I felt suffocated, numb, confused, clueless, helpless and what not, at the same time. It was new. So new.

Ahaana's eyes were searching for something. They lingered on my face, especially my eyes.... as if waiting to catch even a small change to understand the situation. I slowly took away the phone from my ear and walked in her direction. Taking every step near her, popped a new question within my mind. I didn't want to leave. How can I leave? It's not like it's the end of the world, right? It's just An-EXIT... I should stay. Agastya and Zaid can handle the situation and... it's just a matter of a few more hours. Yeah, after dropping Ahaana at her PG, I'll be free, with a sense of relief that she's safe, I would be able to concentrate more on the situation.

I opened my mouth to say something but before I could, Ahaana looked in my eyes and nodded. My eyebrows curled up in confusion and I stopped a few inches away from her. What was that? What does that mean? I tried to understand the meaning behind her gesture and her eyes..... They looked different from before. Calm, yes, that's the perfect word to express her eyes. She slowly blinked and looked behind me. Is she looking at the door? But why? Is someone standing there? Is she waiting for someone to come? I looked behind, but there was no one. What is she trying to say? When I looked again in her direction, I heard a faint whisper, saying, "You should go!"

Wait, how? How does she know what I was going to ask? But.... no, I can't... I.... Can I? Her lips curled up a little and she touched my hand. Without wasting a second, I looked at her hand which was holding mine. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

For the whole time, I was searching for reasons to stay, keeping my selfish wish ahead, but she.... She put my responsibility first. Asking me to go back to my team, without showing a hint of keeping me close to her... How can I be so lucky to have her in my life? Just HOW?

I opened my eyes and steadily traced her face. From deep brown eyes, to her perfectly shaped nose, to her full lips, my eyes memorized them all.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to stay but my team needs me. Please take care, I'll come back to you!" Why do I've to say this? To let Arushi and Maahir know what we just silently conversed, or to make my brain understand that it is the right decision to take? Gulping in, I bent forward to kiss her forehead. So many things, so many words ran through my mind as my lips stayed on her forehead a beat longer.

I'll make up to her! I won't give her a reason to be upset because of me!

Giving her an assuring look, I turned towards Maahir next. "Drop her at her PG safe, and call me after you have done it." Will it be okay to leave her with Maahir after knowing that it might get awkward? But, maybe they need some time. Maybe it is necessary, so they could clear the tension between them. But, I should have at least asked Ahaana before saying that aloud!