An-EXIT

CHAPTER 29 (HER)

KABIR MEHRA

I was sitting in my family doctor's clinic. It's been a month since when I started to feel unfocused and miserably weak. Everything feels like it is taking a turn in this never ending circle of life. Just moving back and forth at the point from where I started to see the light. From where I began to cool down my temper. From where I forwarded my hand to make a friend. From where I first met Ahaana. But the cycle didn't stop here. It broke, it broke me. It went back and stopped at a point when I was vulnerable and lost. The coldness, the emptiness, the overload of work, were those the symptoms of loneliness? I guess I don't have an answer for this. This question.... It is the same question which bugged me for years, and now, it just happens to be my nostalgia.

My slow performance and lack of interest in work alarmed Ms. Kaur. She made quite a huge fuss about it and even booked an appointment and flight tickets to Mumbai for me. Moreover in the end, I took this as an excuse to meet Ahaana.

.

Dr. Ruhi, my family doctor, was currently sitting in front of me and was going through my medical reports. She is like a mother to me. I've been seeing her since I was just a kid. My father trusted her sense of work and many times mentioned that she is the best doctor he has ever come across. I too trust her with my health. Even with the problems which don't concern her profession.

"Kabir, your results are absolutely fine!" she said. She placed the report file on the desk and looked at me.

"I already knew it! I should ask Ms. Kaur to not to worry about- "

"See Kabir..." She took a long pause, interrupting me in the middle. "If you're physically fit, that doesn't mean that you're mentally okay!"

"Huh?" I was really confused with her statement. What does she mean that I'm not mentally okay?

"You've not talked to me for months. Tell me, how's everything going?"

"I'm not getting it? Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

"Because I think, that there is something which is bugging you? And like always, you're denying it!"

"There is nothing!"

"You're such a stubborn kid, Kabir!" She tilted her head.

"I'm not a kid anymore!" I looked at her with a serious gaze, and then after a sudden I realised that I was actually getting frustrated over nothing?

"Please come with me." She traced my expressions and pushed her chair back, standing up from it. Did I upset her?

She walked out of the clinic and I followed her as she asked me to do." What is she thinking? Where are we going? She slowed down when we entered the hospital's garden area, but she kept on walking.

"Kabir, are you missing someone?" It's not like she could read my mind...

"Look Kabir. I have known you for quite a long time, you like things to be straight to the point. So, I'm not going to stretch anything and beat around the bush. You know that I've been your doctor since you were just 10. Your father brought you to me when you were unconscious because of high fever and your fast recovery was a sign of trust he had on me. As your doctor and your guardian, this is my duty to make sure you're okay!"

"If you won't trust me and try to share what's going on in your head, then how will I help you?" She stopped walking and picked up a fallen flower from the path. She looked at it for a brief second and then caressed it with her fingers.

"I told you that I was not feeling well-"

"I know that. But I'm not asking this." She shook her head in disapproval while still looking at the flower. "Look, this flower is now slowly drying up. Its petals are curling up and the color is becoming darker, fading the original color behind. If I ask you, what is happening to this flower or why the color is suddenly changing, then what will you say?"