An-EXIT

CHAPTER 26 (DISTANCE)

INAYAT

Mitansh

Mitansh

Mitansh!

Does everything have to be about him? Random people, whom I've never met, hell even never seen in my entire life come and ask me about him. Why? If you guys are so concerned, then why don't you go and ask him yourself. And what's with, "Did you guys break up?" Bitch, mind your own business. I don't know what's wrong with everyone? Can't they see or have they turned into Mitansh, that they too avoid my whole existence like it never mattered. I'm a human being, I've feelings. And they matter.

My feelings fucking matter.

It's been months, but the distance I have felt from the start of our relationship has remained the same. Unfortunately, now it has started to become visible, even to others.

I've always tried not to let such feelings affect my studies. And more often, I've succeeded. But now, it's killing me. The distance remained the same, but the reason...... has changed. Previously, I had no particular idea why he was doing all this? Why would a person keep his girlfriend away when he was the one to propose to her? Why? It doesn't make sense. But this time, I know the reason. Not because I'm assuming or making scenarios, instead I saw the reason from my own eyes.

My fear of losing him is slowly turning into a reality.

It has become a news, everyone knew that Mitansh picked up Ahaana and took her to the clinic on GD day. But the only thing which lasted in the end was, 'Ahaana tried to get close to Mitansh' 'Ahaana fake fainted to gain Mitansh's attention' 'Ahaana this, Ahaana that.' Shut up! Those stupid club members didn't leave a chance to insult her. Why? Just because they ship Mitansh and I? Will this reason justify shaming a girl like this? Never.

It's so sad to hear such things. I was there, at the scene. Yes, I felt jealous, to a maximum extent. But she didn't fake anything. She was hurt, she was in pain. How can someone spread such rumors about someone?

I want to erase everything from my mind but... I can't. I know she's innocent. I know it's not her fault. I know that Mitansh is the one to blame, I KNOW! But I'm only a human, I can't stop but hate her. Yes, I'm greedy, yes I'm jealous, but knowing the love I craved for is all Ahaana's now, burns me. This information suffocates me. I knew it, I knew it from the day I saw warmth in Mitansh's eyes. I already saw this coming. I already knew that our relationship is going to end, but, but with what reason? A girl? An entry of a girl between us? Reason that Mitansh finally found someone for whom he felt something. A new emotion which can't be spoken. A feeling which I felt ages ago, but when it was his turn, it emerged for someone else? The reason that I was always his best friend and till the end.... remained only his best friend?

In the past few days, it's been really tough for me to avoid him. I don't know why, but something cracks inside me whenever I see him. It's like, he's near me, but still so far away. I'm afraid. Apprehensive that if I somehow get myself to talk to him, I would end up crying just after speaking his name. I won't be able to complete one single sentence. I'm so tired and so fucking hurt. I feel betrayed. Betrayed in every sense till I feel numb. Why does he want to be in a relationship when his heart was never on my side in the first place?

Was I wrong somewhere? Did I say something wrong? Do I embarrass him? Is my presence so bothersome? Am I not pretty anymore?

Even after crying for so long or talking to myself, I'm unable to find my fault. Where was I wrong? I can't find it. I can't point it out. I can't figure it out. I just can't do it. All I do is doubt myself.

He thinks that I'm too bossy. That I make decisions for him, without considering or asking him. Yes, I agree. I do make decisions for him. But, these are the only moments I can gain his attention. These are the only times where his attention is solely on me. Only on me. Even though the emotion is not love, at least whatever he shows, is considered one of the emotions, right?