An-EXIT

CHAPTER 35 (MORE THAN WORDS)

AUTHOR'S POV

Never thought a day could feel like a year long. But as time passed by and a series of incidents took place, Ahaana felt like she was living another lifetime. It was difficult, sudden, unexpected yet favorable for her to take in. Can't say that it's easy to forget the memories which had clenched our heart in its tightest grip for so long, but getting closure and accepting the situation certainly does create a difference.

The night has passed and soft sunrays entered through the window, cutting through the thin fabric of curtains. Ahaana took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She slowly looked across the room and realized that she was in the hospital room. A touch, which has been a constant source of warmth through all this, was still around her hand. She looked to her left and saw Mitansh sleeping while sitting on the chair next to her bed. His right hand was holding her hand and his left arm was under his face, acting as a pillow. He looked so innocent and at peace. Looking at him in silence, tracing every feature like it was so unique, so beautiful, she remained still in her position to avoid breaking his sleep.

Do I deserve him? Echoed a thought in back of her head.

His face reminded her of their last night's talk which they had before falling into a deep slumber. The room had been probably silent for more than an hour when Mitansh started to speak out of the blue. It felt off topic, honestly a little strange. His words were confusing her, but still she kept the conversation going. It felt as if the medication given to Mitansh were clouding his senses instead of hers.

"You're way above me, actually from everyone. It's like, you're sitting at a point and here, from down, I can't even see you with my naked eyes. It's so hard to catch you. So hard to be there for you. The distance is increasing little by little. I can see myself running to catch you, but the drift is unstoppable. I don't want to give up. I don't want to take a break and let the distance increase furthermore. Sometimes I think, is this me who is not actually doing something? That you're sitting at a point and I'm busy building imaginary stretches of nothingness?" Mitansh buried his face in his crossed arms, leaning towards Ahaana's bedside. He rubbed his face on his arms and rested sidewards to now look at Ahaana. He looked tired, exhaustion could be easily heard in his voice.

What was he talking about?

"If everything you did is 'nothing' then I don't know what 'everything' means. You don't have to run towards me, you already have done enough. You don't have to reach me. I'll reach up to you. You don't have to worry about not being able to see me, I'll come to you. The only thing you have to do is to stay. Stop running, stop thinking the worst. Stay and wait for me wherever you are. I'll find you. I'll reach you no matter what. The way you lend me your hand today, I let you mine this time. You'll stay, right? Mitansh, please stay." Ahaana was sitting, leaning back against the headrest. It felt like she processed each and every word Mitansh said. A strange tension was flowing between them, the room was dimly lit and the only source of light was the nightstand in the corner of the room.

"What if the journey is too long and you'll get tired? What if you find me and what you see ends up disappointing you? What if even after me staying at a point doesn't create a difference? What if...." With sudden force, Mitansh pushed his head away from his crossed arms and opened them to take support of the bed. He looked into her eyes. Was that insecurity lingering in his eyes? Or, were they craving for reassurance? It was hard to tell.

"....all the happiness I was unaware of was 'YOU'? The distance can't be covered up by one walking to the other, it has to be a middle where both ends meet. Stop doing the same things you ask me to avoid. Your words, your feelings, they don't deserve your doubtful energy." Is this a confession? Is Ahaana too aware of her feelings?