Next Door

Chapter 27

It was like everything was frozen. I couldn't even move my hand and my eyes was freeze in front of the picture. I stared at it like it was the precious thing I ever saw in my whole life but suddenly the madness inside of me started to suck deeper into my stomach but had nothing to do but to composed myself. She raised her eyebrows while her eyes looking at me intently, maybe a hint for me to answer. After a couple of seconds without moving my lips she lower her eyes to Jhoana's feature.

She was silent for I don't know how long. She looked Jhoana like she was so scared for her to vanish in any seconds and I couldn't think straight at the view. I was confused of what I witnessed right at the moment. Then I noticed that she was crying.

"You're crying?" I mouthed unknowingly. I was so dump at her actions. I really am.

"No." She answered quickly. Nagtanong pa ako masyado na ngang halata.

"O..okay, can I uhm get that?" Tanong ko sabay turo "If you don't mind" I continue but she stares at me... smoothly and I didn't finished my sentence when I looked straight to her eyes. Those eyes that full of sadness. My heart feel the pain and I couldn't even say a word or even to continue this conversation with her.

"Can we talk?" She asked after a moment.

"Yeah, we're already talking. What else do we need to talk?"

"About us? I guess?" Sagot niya. I know mads. Alam ko na kung anong pag uusapan naten. Should I give my inner self a hint?

"Hey, if you want to talk 'bout that pictur

"No, it's not about it. I know Babe." She assured me by cutting me off.

"You know what?" I quickly response which made her stop from walking. "You already know?" Tanong ko ulit when she finally faced me.

"Babe?" She said in a calm tone. "Is there something that I should know? Are you worried 'bout this picture?" Kung alam mo lang kung gaano halaga sa akin ng picture na yan. I risked my life for that fucking thing.

"No. That's not really important tho." Sagot ko without looking into her. "So, what about us?" I asked 

"Actually, we're good nothing to discuss. I just want you to give this to Jhoana because someone might lost it or Jho lost it. Gusto ko sanang itago yan for myself pero baka someone might looking for that." Sabi niya na parang gustong gusto talaga niyang e keep ang picture. Naguguluhan talaga ako. Did I heard correctly? Hindi paba ako nabingi kasi I feel so dizzy. I shook my head and took the picture from her hand.

I stares the beautiful and innocent face of Jhoana and I couldn't denied the fact that I still into her even how many months or years will pass I still inlove with her. One second two seconds 3,4 and I inverted it at the back and it made me shock. Really shocked! It's plain. As plain as the desert. And I quickly looked at her full of questions but I can't utter any words.

"Nakakaloka yang reaction mo. May hinahanap ka ba dyan? I mean, di mo na kilala si jho? You acted like wierd, Babe." Natatawa niyang sabi. Bakit wala? Bakit walang nakasulat?  Binaliktad ko ulit pero wala talaga. Sure akong ako talaga ang kumuha neto at ako mismo ang nagpa develop. Bago pa ako mahalata kinompose ko ulit sarili ko.

"Nothing Babe." I smile "sige, ako na magbibigay neto at tatanungin ko nalang din siya pag gumising na siya and hopefully she will." Tinaas ko pa kamay ko to assure her na walang problema. At nung papasok na ako sa loob kung saan naka confined si jho nagsalita siya from behind.

"Don't you want to have breakfast with me first?" I startled and quickly closed my eyes. It's not about of a sudden call that made me closed my eyes but because I don't want to see her face right at the moment. I want to be alone. I want to be with jhoana right now.

"I'll follow." I said when I turned my back unto the door and went inside after without looking her back.

I went to jhoana directly. I hugged her so tight. I don't care if they would witness this scene. This was the thing that I really want to do for a long time and I don't want to delay this opportunity.

I cry harder. It was like I was at the verge of my death. How I missed her. Looking back then I was a coward, stupid and weak. I hurt her. I was the one who caused her pain. So much pain. If She only knew how I regret those mess of our lives. Diko alam kong mapapatawad pa niya ako knowing all the things I've done. If I could go back those days I would surely chose the right thing. Choosing jhoana at all cost.

But things ran in a different way. And I stupidly rode it all along. "I don't know where to start Love and I hope I could find a right word to say right now. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Love. I know saying sorry is not enough for everything I've cause you. This is all my fault, I know. It's my fault why you have to laid down in this uncomfortable bed. Blame it all to me Jhoana and I don't mind. Sorry if I was so weak. I was so coward that I let to happen this way." I cried so much to the point that I find it hard to open my mouth. " It's hard to see you like this. I've never ever imagine to end our story like this. Please wake up, Love marami pa akong gustong sabihin at ipapaliwanag sayo. Marami pa akong gustong gawin kasama ka. Magsisimula pa tayo jho please let me do the right thing...this time. Let me to feel you how happy I am to finally with you. Right here at your side, Love." Nahihirapan na akong magsalita. Sikip na sikip ang dibdib ko  at gusto kong ilabas lahat ng pagsisi na nararamdaman ko kasi hindi ko na kaya. Diko kayang pigilan ang sarili ko kaya lumabas ako.

But this unfortunate life made me crazy. Maddie was behind of this fucking door and she really caught me crying.

"Holy fucking dead save me".