Next Door

Chapter eleven

Dad! Mom?! Wake up! Please wake up!

Naidilat ko bigla ang aking mata sanhi ng aking masamang panaginip. Ito yung panaginip na ayaw na ayaw kong mangyari ulit. Sa pangatlong pagkakataon nangyari na naman.

Di ko alam kung may kailangan ba akong ipaliwanag sa sarili ko. Nagdudulot na kasi ito ng pagkasira sa buong pagkatao ko. Di ko magawang tumakbo ng mabilis dahil pilit akong hinihila ng aking nakaraan.

Di ko magawang bumangon dahil sa takot. Takot na baka mananatili nalang akong ganito. Mabuti pa ang karagatan kahit maingay nanatili parin itong kalmado. Kahit paulit-ulit na humahampas sa buhangin nanatili paring matatag.

Kailangan kaya ako magiging ganyan? Yun, bang walang kinakatakutan. Yung free ka sa lahat ano mang gustohin mo.

Pinikit ko ang aking mata at huminga ng malalim. Tinignan ko ang orasan na nasa kanang kamay ko 12:14 na ng tanghali.

Kinapa ko ang bahagi ng kama sa likuran ko ng mapansin kong bakante ito. Tinignan ko ito para masiguro kung nandyan si Bea pero wala.

Kaya binalik ko ang aking position sa dati kung saan makikita ko ang kalawakan ng dagat sa pamamagitan ng glass sliding door at nag iisip ng malalim.

Matapos ang mahabang pag iisip kinamalma ko ang aking sarili at sa pangalawang pagkakataon ngayong araw huminga ako ng malalim bago bumangon.

I fixed myself and went outside after. I looked around the place but I can't see even the figure of Bea. I breathe heavily and start walking with my head down.

After 6 minutes of walking I finally reached the restaurant. I can really feel my craving ng makalanghap ako ng nilulutong pagkain, but as much as I want to eat I need to find Bea first.

Nagtungo ako sa itaas ng bahagi ng Isla where you can really amazed the creation of God and the virginity of it's trees, nagbabakasaling nandun si Bea.

Pero ang lahat ng pagkamangha ay napalitan ng lungkot. I saw her making her way out from the other room. Ang bigat sa pakiramdam. Yung taong kanina mo pa hinahanap, akala mo may nangyari ng masama yun pala nasa iba.

I want to walk closer to her pero parang nakamagnet ang paa ko sa lupa. Di ko maigawang ihakbang even to move. Tinignan ko nalang siyang naglakad paalis ng kwarto hanggang sa di ko na siya maaninag pa.

Umupo nalang muna ako sa ilalim ng kahoy. I know, she'll gonna find me if she would find out na wala ako sa room namin. 

Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas when I saw a familiar girl. She just got out from the room where Bea came from.

.

"What do you want to eat, love?"

She asked ng matapos niya akong ipaghila ng upoan.

"Kahit ano lang love."

I answer at ngumiti pagkatapos.

"Sige love, ako na bahala."

Ngumiti siya at kumindat pa bago umalis at nagtungo sa counter. I can see the happiness of her gesture while making her order into the counter.

I looked around the place and amazed around the area. Super looking good ang pleasant. Grabi, di ko naisip na may ganito pa palang kagandang lugar dito sa pilipinas.

I turned around para tignan ang iba pang bahagi ng restaurant ng may mahagip ang mata ko. Isang babae matangkad, sexy at makisig ang katawan. She was wearing white shirt at faded short shorts. She eat alone and was about to walk outside.

"Hey, who are you looking at?"

Naagaw ang attention ko ng magsalita si Bea.

I shakes my head and smile.

.

"Hey! Here you are." My heart jumped and just rolled my eyes ng makita ko si Bea walking towards me flashing her smile.

"Bakit ka nandito? I'm worried about you. Kanina pa kita hinanap."

She said further while panting. I smile and waved my hand as a sign of greetings, she steps closer and sit beside.

"I was looking at you too. Where have you been?"

I said in a soft voice when she finally gets her comfort place. She stares at me na para bang nag iisip kung ano ang dapat niyang isagot.

"Nag ikot-ikot lang love. Tulog ka pa kasi kanina kaya di na kita ginising. I just woke up early kaya naisipan kong maglakad-lakad muna."

She explained hardly which made me chuckles in my thoughts. Do you think I believe in your words? Probably yes, if I didn't saw you came out from other room.

That's what the exact words I was about to fire back but I chose not to do it. I've really hurts multiple times but even if I've been that hurt I can't still denied to myself that 'diko siya kayang pakawalan', I will choose to stay in her side even if she would hurts me countless times.

That's what I've promised this morning when I was about to end this relationship. Nasabi ko na sana pero na realized ko na di ko pala kaya.

"Hey, are we okay love?"

As usual ito ang palagi niyang tinatanong kung ma out of nowhere ang pag iisip ko.

I nods as I lay down my head to her shoulder. She put her hand on my head and rub it slowly.

"I love you Love."

She said as she kissed me on my temple. I didn't response and just nods my head and she look away.

How many times do I have to do this to myself? Hanggang kailan ba ako magpaparaya? Ganito ba talaga magmahal? Puro sakit at pait lang 'yong mararamdaman? O sadyang wala lang talaga akong lakas sa itaas.

"Do you really love me, love?."

I asked unexpectedly which made her turn her head back to me.

"Why do you have to ask that? Of course I do love you, love. I really love you." Sagot niya na para bang pati sarili niya pilit niyang pinapaniwala.

"Have you seen our future together love?" I asked again ngunit ilang minuto pa ang lumipas bago siya sumagot.

"Don't you?!"

She asked me back with her raised voice and crease forehead. She look upset.

I don't know kung ano ang isasagot ko kaya nanatili nalang akong tahimik.

"Pwedi bang tumingin ka sa akin?!"

She touched my chin and tilted to her side.

"What do you mean by that? Can you expand it?!"

Her gestures shows how she's really upset. What should I do? Heto na naman ako. Nagtatanong na naman ang mga ugat sa loob ko.

"Nevermind love. Tara? Gutom na ako. Let's eat?"

I asked her and stood up. I even extend my hand in front of her as usual.

"I'm done. Just eat by yourself."

She's stood up and walked away without taking my hand even threw it a glance.

Wala na akong nagawa pa at tignan nalang siya na papalayo sa akin hanggang sa di ko na makita kahit anino niya.

Nanatili lang akong nakatayo at nakatingin kung saan huli ko siyang nakita until those tears falling down into my face.