Run Wild Horses

Chapter 32

If tellin' each other goodbye
Is gonna lead to a long slow kiss
And if you tearin' out my drive
Is gonna get us makin' love like this
It's crazy to think that yesterday we weren't even talkin'
If this is how it's gonna be
Then baby maybe we should break up more often

I really didn't know what to think. Ryan was saying all the right things, but I had to be sure, considering the bomb I just dropped on him. My heart was torn. I didn't want to lose him, but I knew I couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear. I had been honest with him, and he was understanding, but I still wasn't one hundred percent sure exactly where we stood.

"Are we okay?" I asked tentatively, praying that my heart wasn't about to be shattered.

He placed his hand on my cheek and gazed deeply into my eyes. "We're okay. I wish you knew for sure how you felt about kids because I see a future with you, but I do appreciate your honesty. I know I have to be patient, our relationship is still pretty new, and I don't want to put pressure on you. I promise I'll be patient."

My eyes filled with tears, and my heart swelled. "I love you." I said simply, because anything else I could say just didn't feel adequate for the emotions coursing through my body.

"I love you too Sam. That's something I don't take lightly. You are the only woman I've ever been involved with that I've ever said those words to."

"But is that enough?" I questioned. "I see a future with you too, but if that future does not involve children, is that enough for you?" I knew I was asking some hard hitting questions, but both of our hearts were on the line.

"It's going to have to be, at least for now. I don't want to let you go. All I can do is hope for the best, that one day you do want children. As for right now, it's enough."

I knew that at some point in the future we would have to revisit this entire conversation, and hopefully then I would be able to tell him what he wanted to hear, but for now, we were okay. I was perfectly content with that.

"Thank you for being you, and for your understanding. I want this to work. I want us to work."

"I'm not going anywhere." He said softly, his hand still caressing my cheek. He leaned in and pressed his lips softly to mine, and just like that, the spark that had always been between us from the beginning was ignited.

The kiss intensified to the point that we were both breathless as his tongue licked hungrily into my mouth. I didn't even notice he had unbuttoned my shirt until he was sliding it off of my shoulders, his fingers pushing the straps of my tank top and bra back as he kissed along my collarbone.  His lips trailed along my neck, across my jawline, and finally back to my lips. I was melting down to my core. His kisses always lit my soul on fire.

I kissed him back, putting my heart and soul into each kiss, my hands slipping under his shirt, the feel of his soft, warm skin leading to an inferno burning throughout my entire body.

At some point we made it to the bedroom, when, I had no idea. Leaving a trail of clothing along the way, and before my mind could even register anything, we were in bed. One minute, his fingers were there, brushing against my wet heat, slipping inside me, waves of pleasure crashing over me. Then he was there, inside of me. Filling me. At that moment, time seemed to stand still as we came together, slow and leisurely, as if we had all the time, and not a care in the world.

This was my heaven.

I moaned in pleasure and pure ecstasy as he hit that spot deep inside me that made me quiver, and he moaned in return when I tugged on his hair and dug my nails into his back.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear as I came undone.

Heaven indeed.

The physical part of our relationship was as easy as breathing. We each gave and received pleasure equally. It was nothing short of phenomenal, as if our bodies were specifically made for each other. Maybe we did sort of break up yesterday, at least it had felt that way at the time. Now, we were together, and completely lost in the moment and in each other.

We released together, as explosive as fireworks going off, both of us rendered breathless. No words were needed to express how we were both feeling. We just laid there for a long while taking it all in, holding onto one another tightly. Never wanting to let go. My heart was so full of love for this man. I refused to let any nagging thoughts into my head. I was going to savor this moment and this feeling. Anything else could wait.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked softly, placing a kiss on my temple.

"How much I love you." I replied with a smile.

"Good, because the feeling is mutual Tiger."

Damn I loved it when he threw my words back at me and called me tiger in such a sweet, loving way.

We had come so far.

"Glad to hear it racer boy."

*******

The next day, I was a bit nervous about meeting Emma and Louie. Turns out, I didn't need to be. Emma was every bit as amazing as I expected her to be. Warm, friendly, welcoming, and Louie....quite possibly the cutest and sweetest child to ever exist. Although I had not spent time around children, I knew in my heart and soul that this child was special indeed. Not just because of who he was, but he just had a light inside of him that I was instantly drawn to. For reasons I can't even begin to explain, he had taken an instant liking to me, and it was so easy to run with that feeling. I honestly didn't expect to feel this way, and it was eye opening for sure.

"He likes you." Emma said, after a few moments of companionable silence.

"Which one?" I asked, distracted, watching with a smile as Ryan played with his nephew. Happy squeals from Louie filling the room. Warm and fuzzy feelings flooding my veins.

Emma laughed. "I was actually talking about Louie. Ryan doesn't just like you, he loves you. It's so obvious. I've never seen him like this."

"I love him too." I said.

She laughed again. "That's also obvious. I can see it in your eyes, even though we just met. I really think you are good for my brother. He lights up when he looks at you. You make him happy."

I hoped she was right, and I hoped I could continue to make him happy. Ryan had such an amazing family. I adored his parents, I adored Erin, and after meeting Emma and Louie, well I adored them too.

Emma and I talked for a good while, until it was time for me to get to work. William had a couple of media obligations that I had to be there for. We shared a warm hug, and were looking forward to talking and hanging out more during the weekend.

Ryan kissed me sweetly before I left. All of his media obligations were done for the day, and he was going to spend some more time with his sister and his nephew.

I was really feeling good. I was happy, and I had a very vibe that things were only going to get better.

********

"I'm so proud of you baby." I gushed to Ryan, as he pulled me into victory lane with him after winning the race. This had been such a good weekend. We spent a lot of time with Emma and Louie and we had really gotten close. I had completely fallen head over heels in love with the adorable little blonde haired boy, and his mom was pretty damn amazing too.

"There's no one in the world I'd rather be here with than you." Ryan said, kissing me as photos were snapped.

"Trust me, the feeling is mutual champ."