Pens, pencils and poems

I refuse to be a wrecking ball

You have a heart of gold

My hearts a black hole

My life's a dark place

And yours is all light

You don't belong here

You're innocent and pure

I'm anything but that

You're normal

You're fine

I'm trying to die

Why are you here?

Why are you with me?

I'm ugly

Suicidal

Stressed

I can never talk

I'm a bomb

Ready to explode

I refuse to be a wrecking ball

And ruin your life

I'm nothing you need

And I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

And I'm sorry again

I know this is messed up

I was being selfish

When I asked you that question

And now in my head

It's falling apart

I need time right now

I need just a best friend

While all these voices are circling

Around in my head

You made me deaf

To the voices that were

Screaming at me about

school

My parents

My sibling

My friends

My life

You made me forget

Past things and

Past people

I've been hurting for awhile

And right now

I'm in a hole

Of darkness and depression

I didn't want you to get trapped

In the dark with me

So I had to let you go

Maybe you could've pulled me out

But I couldn't take the risk

Of you falling in

You don't deserve that

You shouldn't be apart of my life

You shouldn't have to deal with me

So by hurting you now

I'm keeping you safe

From more pain

From my life

I'm your best friend before anything

I have to keep you from harms way

I have to keep you away from me

You're too pure to deal with this

To deal with me

And my black hole heart

And my family

So I'm ending it now

Before I crash

And wreck the pureness

And goodness you have

Ending it before

You're life goes dark
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey, this is something I wrote up to explain something to some one. And if they're reading this I just wanted to let them know some stuff....,....... If something's happening just give it time. And if it's a person just let go they might not be healthy for you (kinda like me in this poem) please listen to the song recommendation!!!!!! Let me know if my poems actually help or if the music does. It would be appreciated <3

Song recommendation
Too close by Alex Clare

There's someone out there who loves you