Because just one part with our lovely, trustworthy Ultimate Housewife named Dream wasn't enough.... it's gotten a full-blown part that literally no one asked for.
Ink: Well you did--
Shut the hell up Ink you're a bottom. You have no rights.
Ink: But Dream's a bottom--
Why do you think he's the Ultimate Housewife?
So fuck everything, I'm saying this is canon to my AU.
I spent at least 2 hours on this.
~~~~
Nightmare, showing Dream's house off to Ccino: You can see this lovely house that my brother manages. It looks pretty basic on the outside and not much is different on the inside, but there was a lot of love put into this house.
Ccino: *picks up Dream and Cross's wedding photo* Your brother looks, um, really thrilled to be in this marriage.
Nightmare: You're looking at Cross. The short one with the knife pressed to Cross's throat is my brother.
~~~~
Dream: I have such wonderful housewife reading material.
Ccino: "Definitely a Book", "Great American Novel", "1,000 Gelatin Recipes".
Ccino, turning to Nightmare: Do you actually like gelatin?
~~~~
Dream: A crosshair has appeared in my field of vision in the middle! I can already tell that I'm going to be beating the shit out of Nightmare with my Swifter duster.
Dream: Oh wait no there's a trio of butcher knives on the kitchen counter just waiting for me!
Dream: And I very clearly have a young child named Lux. Maybe I won't be battling the gods or Nightmare, but I'll be battling my family instead.
Dream, knocking on Lux's door: Lux! Lux, honey, it's time to come out!
Dream: Mommy needs to make sure the knives are still sharp :)
~~~~
Dream: Alright well I guess I gotta make breakfast now :/
Dream: Is this breakfast for me, my family, or the supreme evil known as my brother and his cat-obsessed barista boyfriend?
Dream: Do either of them actually even eat eggs?
Dream: *opens cabinet* I have a trio of perfectly stacked frying pans in case I screwed up the first time. *grabs frying pan*
The other 2 frying pans: Aight we gonna head out *go flying*
Dream: Holy shit.
~~~~
Dream: There's nothing like having a glass of wine at 6AM.
Dream: Cheers, Nightmare.
Dream: *downs that shit like its apple juice*
~~~~
Nightmare, inspecting the oven: Uhhh..... yeah you could probably fit a child in there.
~~~~
Dream: Alright, time to begin my housewifely quests!
Dream: *opens fridge* First objective is to make breakfast.
Dream: We have eggs, bacon, and what the hell is that.
Dream: Look at the size of those things! They look like floatation devices made out of meat!
YOU ARE READING
Sans AUs Incorrect Quotes #2
HumorI would've titled it as "Undertale AUs", but I'm not even gonna bother lying, it's literally gonna be almost entirely Sans AUs. Like 99.99% Sans AUs. Some of these I get from posts on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, etc. Some of my own idiot t...
