*sobbing while imagining Dream being a fairy themed around the idea of honey*
Nightmare: Can I show you a trick?
Dream: Last time you showed me a trick, it took three weeks for my soul to go back to normal.
Nightmare: Yeah but this time it'll only take two.
~~~~
Dream: Hi! I'd like to get a drink please!
Lust: *looks down at Dream*
Dream: *looks like a child, sounds like a child, dressed like a child, nervous as all hell*
Lust: A child?
Dream, whipping out his ID: no.
~~~~
*pre Apple Incident*
Villager: *pulls golden apple off the tree in an attempt to steal it*
Dream, somewhere in the village: entering hunter mode--
~~~~
Dream: Man my humor has been nonexistent ever since I was a baby.
Ink: Elaborate.
Dream: Oh a big word for you!
Ink:
Dream: Anyway, one time I jokingly asked how funny it would be if someone named Hunter became a hunter.
Dream: None of the villagers laughed.
(True story on my end)
~~~~
Dream: Nightmare and Ink have been terrorizing me by sending me pictures of cups too close to the edges of tables.
~~~~
Cross, wanting to do a magic trick: Dream! Take 3 cards, any 3 cards!
Dream: Okay. *takes 3 cards*
*after Cross guesses a bunch of times*
Dream: No, sorry.
Cross: Really!? Then what ARE your cards?
Dream: These!
Cross:
Cross: Dream, when I said "take 3 cards, any 3 cards"...
Cross: I DID NOT MEAN MY CREDIT, DEBIT, AND ID CARDS.
~~~~
Dream: NIGHTMARE.
Nightmare: WHAT.
Dream: There was ice cream in Zootopia!
Nightmare: So? There's ice cream here, too.
Dream: Where did the milk come from!?
Nightmare:
~~~~
Dream: There's a very simple and easy solution to our ongoing war.
Nightmare: Let me guess-- you want me to become good again?
Dream: Ideally, yes, but that's not what I was gonna say.
Nightmare: Then what do you have in mind?
Dream: Okay so what if I killed myself--
~~~~
Nightmare: When's the last time you slept?
Dream, very clearly sleep-deprived and about to pass out: When's the last time YOU slept?
~~~~
Nightmare: *using a laser pointer to play with Dream like he's a cat*
~~~~
*The Star Sanses are having a normal conversation*
Dream: Male octopuses die immediately after having the junkie time. Therefore, Squidward is a virgin and most likely ace.
Blue: One normal conversation that lasts THAT'S ALL I WANT IN THIS FRIENDSHIP.
Ink: What's the junkie time???
Literally everyone I ship Ink with (Blue, Dream, Error, Nightmare, 404, etc.): *red eyes*
~~~~
Cross: *heartbroken after a breakup with Nightmare*
Epic: Hey bruh, just remember-- if he leaves you for another, there's always his brother!
Cross: What kind of advice is that!?
Dream: Hi!
*months later*
Cross: Nightmare, I'm dating your brother.
Nightmare: No.
(Overprotective Nightmare is something I live for)
~~~~
(I wish I could do digital art well do you know how many comics I would make)
Ink: How would you describe dragonfruit?
Dream: It tastes like a fruit.
YOU ARE READING
Sans AUs Incorrect Quotes #2
HumorI would've titled it as "Undertale AUs", but I'm not even gonna bother lying, it's literally gonna be almost entirely Sans AUs. Like 99.99% Sans AUs. Some of these I get from posts on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, etc. Some of my own idiot t...
