Love or Hate

Chapter 20: Talk

                             1 month later
Alex POV

So it's been two and an half months since the break up and I haven't seen or heard from Jayden since. We've been avoiding each other at all cost but I've used the time to work on my anger issues.

I've been going to anger management every other day for the last month and I've improved on keeping myself calm in hostile situations and just being a more chill person in general. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss Jayden like crazy. He made me feel more confident and made me feel genuine love.

Right now I somehow convinced all the crew except for Jayden to meet me for lunch at Portillo's. I just need to see all four of them together. We haven't all been together since the break up and it's long over due. I told them not to bring Jayden just because I'm not ready to see him yet.

We all sit down outside at a table with our food. "I feel like it's been forever since we've all been together at the same time" I said. "I know I've missed us all together" Mehgan said. "It feels weird to all be together without Jayden, he's like our leader kinda" Nick said.

"I know, it's doesn't feel normal" Erika said. "I know how y'all feel but I need to see all of you because I wanted to let you know that I graduated anger management class" I said proudly. They all congratulated me and said they were proud of you.

"So Alex I have a question for you" Justin said. "I feel like I'm going to regret this but what is your question Justin?" "Well I just wanted to know if you would be open to having a sit down with Jayden?"

There was complete silence for about a minute. I sighed "Maybe" I said calmly before taking a bite of my Italian beef. "Yay now all we have to do is ask Jayden" Nick said. "If y'all could somehow get Jayden to agree, which will never happen then I'll have the conversation with him" I said. They all nodded in agreement and we finished our food.

(Time Skip) next day
                        Jayden's POV

I have completed my therapy session for day and it will be my last. I've fully forgiven my uncle and my dad for everything and I've genuinely grown as a person. I learned not to hold grudges and to focus on things that make me happy.

My depression has gone away for the most part and I've been less anxious so that's good. I'm sitting on the couch watching Julie and the Phantoms and I hear the front door open. I look and see it's the whole crew minus Alex obviously.

I hug all of them and we all sit down. "So what's up" I said. "Well we wanted to finally see you all together since it's been two months since we were all together" Justin said. "Yeah I've missed the crew" I said. "So Jay I wanted to ask you a question" Mehgan said. "What is it?" "Well we wanted to know if you would be open to having a sit down with Alex?"

"No" I said after a minute of silence. "Why" Erika asked. "Because there's nothing to talk about, plus I don't know if I want to see him right now" I said. "Your mom told me that you said you would talk to him after you finished therapy and you just finished" Nick said with a smirk.

"She just loves to put my business out these streets huh" I said. "Jayden can you please just have the conversation with him, we already asked him and he said he's open to it if you are" Erika said. I think about it for a couple minutes.

"Fine I'll talk to Alex" I said. They all started cheering. "If I talk to him it has to be at some restaurant and two of you have to be there but at a different table" "whatever you need as long as you guys finally talk to each other" Nick said. I shook my head can't believing I agreed to this.

(Time Skip) 3 days later

I walk into IHOP wearing my black leather jacket with a nirvana shirt and ripped black jeans with my signature converse. I look and see Nick and Mehgan sitting at a table. "So where do I sit?" I ask. "At the booth across from the restaurant so we could see y'all" Mehgan said. I nodded and walked to the booth and I started getting nervous as I sat down.

How will this go? What if he hasn't changed and flips out on me if I say the wrong thing? What if he tries to fight me for dumping him? What if he doesn't want anything to do with me? What if he moved on to a new guy?

All those questions played in my head as I waited on Alex to get here. I finally see Alex walk in and I gasped. Alex's hair is longer and curlier than before and he's wearing a black and white plaid skirt with a matching crop top and leather jacket.

He sees me and looks like he hesitates to come over but he does and he sits down. We sit in silence for a minute just looking at each other. You could cut the tension with a knife as we stare at each other practically daring the other to speak first.

I finally give in and say "hello"

"Hi"

"So, let's get this underway" he nodded.

"It's been almost three months since we broke up and we've avoided each other like the plague and I think we've both changed our styles as it seemed"

"Yeah, usually you would be wearing a hoodie with whatever basic t-shirt you got from your dresser with a pair of sweatpants. I like your new style, it's giving me e-boy but you're black and you're keeping your converse"

I laugh a little and say "The converse will never go away no matter what style I have. But I'm curious to know what made you want to sit down and talk to me after everything?"

"First it was the crew who asked if I was interested in talking to you, I lowkey was but I didn't think you wanted to"

"Same, I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with me since we broke up on kinda harsh terms"

"I was hurt for the first two weeks after but I realized that I needed to get my anger issues under control finally so I went to anger management and I recently graduated from it"

"Well I'm happy to hear that. I actually went to therapy myself and I finally addressed a lot of my childhood trauma and my mental health issues that I never really addressed to myself or anyone else"

"Was it everything you told me?"

"Yeah but it was also something major that I didn't tell anyone besides my mom but now I told the rest of the crew and the therapist obviously"

"Am I allowed to know?"

I nodded and told him everything. Alex started tearing up and I subconsciously wiped his tears before they could fully fall.

"Jayden I'm so sorry you went through that, I swear on everything I love if I knew you experienced that I would've never did all that"

"It's fine I'm over everything. I've forgiven him for it because I needed to, for my personal growth. This is actually the first time I've talked about it without crying so progress"

"Can I admit something?"

"Sure, what?"

"I've missed you a lot"

I look at Alex and I can't help but smile. "I've missed you too"

"So where do we go from here?"

"I think we should take it one step at a time. We're both slightly different people now and we shouldn't rush back into a relationship. So let's just be friends for now and hang with the crew and let everything happen naturally"

"I like that"

We talked and laughed as we caught up. Mehgan and Nick then joined us and we all ate together before we all eventually went home. Alex walked me to my house before we embraced for the first time in almost three months.

We stood there in comfortable silence just hugging each other before we eventually pulled apart. He told me he would call me tomorrow before I walked into my house.

I went to sleep at peace with myself and happy me and Alex are friends again.