Maybe We Should Go Back

Disco is NOT dead

I think I had a past life as a 1970's person. I've always loved 70's stuff, styles and music. I am PERFECT for the 70's for a few reasons:

1. My hair. My hair is long, brown, boring and I never do shit with it because it can't hold a style. What was the biggest 70's hairstyle before the Farrah? Long, parted in the middle and plain as a  pancake! I could rock the hell out of that just by moving my side part over a couple inches.

2. Clothes. Bell bottoms are LIFE to me. When they came back in style in the late 90's I was about ten/eleven in the 5th grade. I bought every pair known to man from every Delia's catalogue and every 5.7.9. store I frequented. Ever since, I can't stop rocking them. I know no one likes them. I know I am not stylish. I know I am embarrassing to even look at. Yet something about the bottoms flapping in the breeze just brings me a sense of peace about the existential questions of life. It's almost like you are your own flag. Think about that.

3. DISCO. I am honestly floored by how amazing all the funk and disco music is even today! I mean, have you listened to the WHOLE ten minute version of Disco Inferno? No? Check it out and tell me you are not in a sequined trance by the end. The little funky nuances in the background. The BASS.  It's all superb. Like, some of the best songs in history and I am not kidding. Then, outside of Disco you've got Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, the Rolling Stones. I mean, damn! Am I right?

5. Studio 54. My sequined ass would have been all over that place every damn night! No club of today could ever compare to the immortal coolness that is Studio 54. One time this dude hit the dance floor on a HORSE. For real. Go look it up.

6. Drugs. *

7. The mafia. Hear me out. I'm fascinated by the Italian mafia, not because I want to be them and kill innocent people and rob others. I'm just fascinated by their very EXISTENCE. I feel like it would have been so exciting to live in New York City when the mafia ran the place. Like, all the FBI surveillance going on. The news coverage. The taking down of the mafia bosses. It would have been hella exciting as long as you were independently wealthy and as long as you didn't owe money to the mob. If you did, I'm sorry.

8. No social media. No pressure. The people of the 70's were so chill! Like, naw I ain't gonna do my hair, I'll just wear it long and parted in the middle. What to wear? Bell bottoms and some frilly shirt, of course! High heels just for show. Or you know what? You could be a nudist because people were cool about that sorta thing back then.

9. I tried to come up with more but now I have to go feed Ethan.

One more thing though. I would like to talk seriously now about free speech. Free speech means you can say what you want without people in suits coming to take you to prison. But it does not say, anywhere, that you are safe from the consequences of the stupid shit you say. Consequences. Not cancel culture. Consequences. Say it with me: Consequences. You are not protected from your own idiot self, and this becomes clearer every day. The free speech portion of the constitution does not say you can be an openly racist douchebag and keep your job and have everyone like you. Nope, sorry. Doesn't say it. It's almost like, I don't know, you say horrible things and all the sudden no one likes you anymore. I mean, am I right? Is that possibly what's going on instead of some nefarious leftist plot?