It has been a long time! I don't even know where to start.
Okay, well I quit teaching. For the first August in many, many years I am not preparing to go back to school. I feel relief but also sadness and regrets. I am also very anxious about the future and finding a job. I've been applying all summer. For now, I spend my days job hunting and caring for Serenity, who is 9 months old if you can believe it! Ethan attends daycare 3 days a week until we can't afford it anymore. He really loves it and it's good for him socially.
Not much else is going on. I've just been adjusting to the change of being unemployed for the first time in more than a decade. I try to spend my free time with my kids. I have a lot of fun with Ethan and I'm enjoying the bond I've created with Serenity. Ethan is a crazy hyper boy who loves Paw Patrol, PJ Masks, Thomas the Train and anything with wheels. His imagination is going wild and it's a blast to play with him. He has more energy than anyone I've ever seen.
I've been doing really good health/addiction wise, and I'm seriously considering going off of Suboxone. I think it's time. I feel strong. When I look back at where I was in 2017-2021, it's like night and day. I can't believe how bad things were back then and how I didn't end up fucking up in a major way and losing Ethan or my marriage. Maybe someday I'll talk about those days, but honestly I'm very sickened by the depths I was in and don't really enjoy thinking about it.
Everyone is sick right now except for Ethan, who just has sniffles. I sent him to his grandparents so we can all recover here. I'm not sure what it is. Some kind of cold/flu something but don't think it's Covid. The baby is miserable but no longer has fever. Hubby is bedridden in that humorous, helpless, at-death's-door kind of way that only men seem to experience, so it's up to me to keep everyone going.
It's midnight and I've been whining about not having time to rest all day, so I guess I'll close this now and actually do that.
YOU ARE READING
Maybe We Should Go Back
Non-FictionI decided to make a space to rant, discuss, review and just get things off my chest. Please note that mental illness and addiction are things I live with, so this might be triggering to some. I'm holding nothing back.
