Made you click didn't it?
I'm in my Cardi B mood. Sometimes I go through this female rap phase because I just think female rappers are the best. Doesn't happen often. Always a metal girl first. But right now, it's happening.
Anyway, I have had the worst week. First I didn't sleep for about four days straight due to Suboxone withdrawal. It's similar to opiate withdrawal, just less painful but longer and therefore slightly more miserable. I finally caved and begged my mom to buy my Suboxone. I haven't mentioned this in awhile, but they're sort of millionaires now. She was very generous and sweet and bought it for me and says she will buy it every month which is a huge relief.
It wasn't like I was close to relapse or something. Those days are so gone. It was just sheer misery, couldn't sleep, jittering so bad I was grinding my teeth, moody as hell.
I got them yesterday and immediately ate 3 like they were Pez. You're not supposed to do that because you can get high that way (only if you've been off real opiates for a long time), which I did get a buzz and it was nice but like I said those days are gone and I have no desire to be that zombie anymore. I just needed immediate relief. I finally slept last night and took a nap today. I feel back to my old self and I was pleasantly surprised by how the worst of my cravings seem to be behind me as I become a normal human again.
I was gonna write more but now I'm tired (sleepy). Goodnight.
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Maybe We Should Go Back
Non-FictionI decided to make a space to rant, discuss, review and just get things off my chest. Please note that mental illness and addiction are things I live with, so this might be triggering to some. I'm holding nothing back.
