Taste of Life

1

"Mommy said I can take a gap year, Atsi." I told my sister habang sinesermonan niya ko bakit hindi pa ko nagaayos ng reservation fee for college.

"You can take any course then shift nalang sa gusto mo. Additional knowledge at isa pa hindi ka tatamarin while you're thinking." Clearly, she's not supprtive. Kulang nalang basagin niya yung mga platong hinuhugasan niya.

"Kuya Ian, you're on my side on this diba?" I asked. I am in their house disturbing them on a Saturday night.

"I think it is more practical to take a gap year but you have to really explore on what you want." Kuya Ian is really careful while answering my question kasi for sure pag aawayan nila to ni Ate.

"I am actually planning to go to a retreat this vacation. Father Jim invited me. He said it's good to refresh your mind before college, so a few of my friends will join. Eh since wala pa naman akong plano, I also signed up."

"Ohh yeah. I remember having a lot of fun during retreats hosted by Xavier back in high school." Kuya Ian commented or should I say bragged?

"I'm sure Ateneo is better than Xavier in retreats." Ate said. Here we go again about schools. Sa bahay na 'to, parang UAAP parati. Kakaiba ang trashtalkan. I wouldn't be surprised to see both of them separated because of the Ateneo-La Salle rivalry.

"Enough with that. I'll take a gap year. Go to retreats, help Dad in the resto, or maybe help mom in some journals. You know. Bahala na."

"Support kita dyan bro! Now, I'll go to my office. I have a lot of people to defend." Kuya Ian patted my back and mouthed 'goodluck'.

"Fine! Promise me you'll finish college." Ate wiped her hands with a towel after finishing the dishes. Hindi ko alam bakit but this married couple right here are trying not to hire a kasambahay.

"Of course, I will."

"Promise?" She asked and lift her pinky finger. And I had to do it. I pinky swear I'll finish college.

"Anong oras ka uuwi? Gabi na! Porket you're driving na pwede ka na umuwi ng late?" My sister became a nagger after the wedding. How could Kuya Ian stand this.

"Most of the time, I missed you a lot sa bahay pero kapag andito ako, gusto ko takpan bibig mo." I ranted.

"You stupid monkey!" She cursed. I laughed.

I got my keys and showed it to her. A sign that I'll go home na. She just nodded and walked with me.

"How's your crush? How is it going? Do you need flirting tips?" She lowkey asked. My family is still on teasing me about Annie. Tito Anton's daughter. I actually can't believe na they let Ate Antoinette know pa. Ngayon, I can't even join kapag may family dinners and night outs na kasam sila. Awkward. And hassle.

"It's just a small crush. Sa sobrang pangaasar niyo. Ayoko na nga. Everything is awkward already." I admitted. Ever since my father knew, wala siyang tigil kakatanong.

"She's nice and close to our family. And really pretty." Ate spoke like hindi ko kilala ang tinutukoy niya.

"Was just a happy crush. I'm already over it." I honestly said. Nakarating na ko sa garahe nila pero hindi pa rin tumitigil 'tong kapatid ko.

"Or maybe it's Eli you really like." She teases again. Eli is my bestfriend, my dad call her 'my warden'. She's actually in charge to look for me because my family is so not over my heart transplant. It's been years. Eli lives just across the street from our house.

"You know I love Eli but super platonic right?" I reminded her kasi parang nakakalimutan niya.

"Asus. You're so manhid."

"Ikaw lang naman naffall sa bestfriend mo. Wag mo ko idamay." I made a face and kiss her cheek. Mukhang speechless pa siya from my banter. I went inside my car and started the engine. I was about to drive away when Ate knocked on my window.

"I just want the best for you. You are always welcome here lalo na kapag pagod ka na sa kacheesyhan ng magulang natin." I just nodded. I already know that.

Noong tumanda yung nanay at tatay ko, they became so cheesy. Tita Zel and Tita Dani told me they are really cheesy since from the beginning of times but swear they are different now. They would like flirt in front of me. I wouldn't be surprised if they want me out of the house soon.

Driving back to the house, alone and at night is actually relaxing. Sometimes, I think life will be so good if hindi ako yung bunso. I wish Farra was here. I mean I feel like she could make everything bearable. Maybe she can tell me what program to pick in college. Sometimes I look up and I feel like she's looking down straight up to me, cheering me on whatever I've been doing.

A lot of people won't understand. They keep telling me na dapat hindi ako masyadong affected kasi I never really had the chance to know her, but then they didn't know how it feels like to be so in love with someone who died. I think, my whole family is in love with Farra. She's our angellette. I feel like she looks like me. Sometimes, it hurts that I don't actually remember her face. I just know how painful it was. She was so tiny.

When I reached home, Mommy was waiting for me sa sofa.

"Ma!" I greeted her with a beso.

"Troye! How's your sister? Is Ian okay?"

"Yep! Ate is officially a nagger, Ma! She didn't took you calmness and quietness. She's a loud woman. I don't think their marriage will last." I joked.

My mom laughed. Her laugh is beautiful.

"It will last. Ian's a good man. At isa pa, kahit noong hindi pa siya kasal she really is a nagger." My mom commented. I sat beside her and put my head in her shoulder. I'm my mom's big baby.

"Imagine if Farra uhm survived. She'll entertain us and you know be loud like Ate." It slipped my mouth. This topic will make my mom sad. But sadness is okay.

Mom actually chuckled. "Sometimes I imagine her playing pranks on you. Or I don't know being so makulit stealing your games."

"I'm really sure I would allow her. I think she'll be so cute for me to refuse."

There's silence. A silence that is not disturbing. Like it is a moment for us to be okay with pain.

"Where's dad?" I finally asked.

"Pauwi na. He need to do something sa The Grid. I think your dad is having trouble managing it already."

"Maybe I can help lalo na I'm taking a year off from school. Maybe I can help dad managing the Grid." I suggested.

My mom turned to me like I am speaking a different language.

"I think your dad will like that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You'll make your old man happy, Troye!" She kissed my head and patted me on my shoulder.