Taste of Life

25

"Wag ka mabadtrip sakin please lang." Annie's talking nonstop. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, una sa lahat. Bakit ka nagseselos? Ikaw nag sabi bestfriend kayo. Pwede siya makipagdate." She added. We are on the way to her house.

"I'm fine." I answered.

"Hala sige magpanggap ka pa."

"Annie, I'm entering the seminary." I casually said.

Natahimik siya. Hindi nagsalita. I just let that sink in. I was actually expecting for her to say na baka impulsive lang ako and stuff or advice me not to.

But after a few minutes, she laughed. Kumunot ang noo ko at sinulyapan siya.

"Hindi kita maseseryoso if I attend the mass. Baka sumigaw ako ng 'si Father Troye, paasa'" and she laughed even harder.

Umiling nalang ako. Noong nasa tapat na kami ng gate nila, she invited me to go inside.

"May rooftop kami, kita stars. Atyaka gawan kita mocktails." She said.

"Tempting."

"Tara na. Traffic pa rin pag umuwi ka." I sighed before nodding. I parked my car at sinabayan siya.

"Tito Anton and Tita Miks are here?"

"Yeah they're in their office. I bet hindi nila mamalaman na you went here." I carried all the pasalabong I got for them atyaka sinabi kay Annie to fix it.

"Kay mom ba to?" She asked pointing at the bag.

"No. Pasalubong and grad gift." I smiled. I saw how tears are forming in her eyes. I panicked.

"Don't cry huy!"

"Dapat sinabi mo agad edi sana pinagselos din natin si Madame Eli." Umiling nalang ako. We actually stayed an hour sa kitchen. She's making mocktails habang chinichika ako about seminary. Their helpers even prepred Nachos for us.

When she's done, I carried a tray with all of our drinks while she carried the other tray with Nachos.

Their rooftop is such a nice place.

"Where are your sisters?" I asked.

"Ate Antoinette has her own house na. You're even there sa house blessing. And Ate Aly is working abroad. Ako nalang ang ginagastusan nila Mom." She chuckled.

"Ah kaya pala spoiled ka." Pangaasar ko.

"Excuse you? Hindi ah." She defended herself.

I chuckled and started drinking.

"When did you get the calling?" I think she's trying to be super careful about it.

"I attended a retreat. And ayun na. It felt so peaceful na hinanap hanap ko yung feeling. Feel ko matagal naman ng may ganon. Even my NCAE said that." I chuckled.

"Sabagay my NCAE said nga na agriculture dapat kunin ko. Which to be really honest, I am so interested. Baka unconscious desires natin ang nalabas sa NCAE."

I nodded. We stayed quiet and watched the stars.

When we finished the Nachos, she asked me again.

"Alam na niya?" I tuned to her. Waiting if she'll continue. Pero hindi.

"Nope. Hindi ko kayang sabihin. I've been trying to tell her. But I can't."

"Bakit hindi mo kayang sabihin? Sakin ang casually mo lang nasabi."

"I don't know as well."

"Ano gusto mo, support ko yang idk mo o realtalk?" She asked and sat up straight. Here she goes again with her speeches.

"Real talk."

"Hindi mo masabi kasi ayaw mo masaktan siya o hindi mo masabi kasi hindi mo rin kayang isipin na iggive up mo yung possibility niyong dalawa?"

I kept quiet. Hindi pa yan siya tapos. I took a big sip. Now, I want a beer.

"Kasi if yung una yung iniisip mo, tingin ko kaya naman niya ihandle. She'll support you kasi nauna ka niya maging best friend kesa maging gusto."

She paused and drink another sip.

"Pero kung yung isa, you have to think really hard about seminary. Kasi if may napigil sayo kahit ito lang, I don't think you should go into that."

I nodded. She's right. I faked a smile. We stayed a little longer bago nagtext si Atchi at hinahanap ako. I told Annie na alis na ko so hinatid niya ko sa kotse ko.

"Think about it, Kuya Troye." She smiled and waved goodbye.

I opened the radio and put the volume to the maximum. The song is Godspeed by Frank Ocean. What a night.

Pagkauwi ko, Atchi's preparing popcorn.

"Movie night?"

"Yeah. Ian's still in the office."

I just nodded.

"You ate na?"

But instead of answering, I put my head on her shoulder and caress her stomach. Laki na ng tyan niya. Like a watermelon.

"How do you know you love Kuya Ian?"

Diary Entry #47
What's my reason, Lord? I can't say it cause I don't want to hurt her right?