Lovesick Witches

"Feelings"

"Are you sure you are okay, Anastasia?" 

I was so close to the teacher. She was kneeling down in front of me, observing my arm, in the middle of the sports field. It was so quiet. So peaceful. The only noises around were the birds singing and sound of the gentle breeze against the trees. The pain in my arm had disappeared. I felt so calm and at peace. Just being in that moment with HB gave me pure happiness. 

"Yes, thank you, Miss Hardbroom," I said quietly, confused on why she was being so kind to me and not shouting at me for messing up in the flying lesson. 

"Stay away from Ethel." She looked me in the eyes when she said this, giving me tingling sensations throughout my body. 

Her lips pressed together and formed a gentle smile as she reached her arm out to me, helping me stand up. We both stood, looking each other in the eyes as we did so. I felt so incredibly close to her, as if we could understand each other and were feeling the same, overwhelming emotions. 

As her eyes sparkled and her hair shone in the sunlight, I noticed my palms were getting sweaty and I began to feel goosebumps on the back of my neck. I couldn't help but find her so incredibly pretty. Beautiful, in fact. The way her pale skin contrasted with the blackness of her hair and the deep, cavernous colour of her eyes, it was perfect to me. 

"I saw you lying on the ground from my window. I was worried. But I am happy you are okay," she said, empathetically. 

"Miss Hardbroom," I said. She raised an eyebrow waiting for me to continue my sentence. 

"I only met you yesterday. Yet, you are being so kind to me. Showing me empathy. Concern. Care." I paused, looked down at the vibrant grass below me, and then looked her in the eyes again. "Why?" 

"What you told me in detention yesterday. The thing that Mildred had said to you." 

"That you care for people? Like to protect them?" I said. 

"Yes. That. I thought about that last night. It is true. I realise now that maybe I do have..." she scrunched her nose, "emotions." 

It was a shock to me that before this, she had never acknowledged her emotions. 

"And what Mildred made me realise," she continued, "what you made me realise, is that maybe... maybe I don't have to keep these... emotions," she grimaced every time she said the word 'emotions' as if she hated the idea of having feelings or something, "entirely to myself. Maybe it is okay to express how I feel, and maybe I don't have to get hurt by doing so." 

"Expressing your emotions is a very normal thing to do. I can't believe that you don't talk about how you are feeling! It is so important to talk to people about how you feel," I said. 

"Why?" 

"Well, if you hide your emotions, if you keep everything bottled up, you can end up feeling very alone and sad, as you fail to realise that the people around you might be feeling the same and might be able to help you get through whatever you are going through! Yes we are witches, but we are still human! And expressing our emotions is a very normal and healthy thing to do." 

She didn't reply to that. Instead, she looked down, and stood there in silence. It was strange having an open conversation with a teacher like this. Giving a teacher advise about expressing emotions. It all felt very odd, but nice. 

She raised her head, looking me in the eyes again. But as I looked back into hers, I noticed they were watery, and I suddenly felt an intense sadness as I gazed into her helpless-looking eyes. 

"Miss Hardbroom," I said quietly, but then stopped as I didn't know what else to say. I didn't want to say anything else. I didn't need to say anything else. So I just stood and smiled softly at her. 

Miss Hardbroom looked away for a moment and cleared her throat. When she looked back, her teary eyes had dried. 

"Right. Well," she said, "if your arm is feeling better now, then we should probably go inside." 

I agreed and we began to walk back into the building. I suddenly remembered why I wanted to talk to HB that day. 

"Oh, Miss Hardbroom," I said as we entered the school, "I was meaning to speak to you about something. Do you have a minute?" 

"Yes, of course. We can go to my potions laboratory and talk there, if you like?" 

I nodded and we walked to the potions lab in silence.