Lovesick Witches

A Day Without

"The head girl competition is coming up really soon," said Maud as I walked to potions class with my friends. "Is Beatrice ready for it, Mildred?" 

"I think so," Mildred replied. "Clarice and Sybil have been helping her prepare. She just has to beat Fenella. I'm confident she'll be fine." 

"That's good," said Maud. 

"What do you guys think we'll be doing in potions today?" Enid asked. 

"I'm not sure," said Mildred. "Probably just practicing some more boring spells." 

The four of us stood in front of the classroom door before entering. It was the first time I had been there since my break up with Hecate. My head was spinning slightly as I took in the unpleasantly familiar surroundings. 

As Enid and Maud entered the classroom, Mildred pulled me to the side. 

"Are you feeling okay, Ana?" 

I gulped before nodding, my eyes fixed on a crack in the wall opposite from us. 

"Ana," Mildred said firmly as she took my hand, forcing me to look at her. She then gave me a sweet smile, easing my nerves a little. 

"This might be hard for you. This is the first time you have seen HB after..." She paused and looked around to make sure there was no one listening. "After you know what. But you're not alone, okay? I'm right here beside you and I'm going to be right here beside you the whole time. Just think of it as another boring potions class." 

"Thanks Mildred," I said before she gave me a hug and we entered the classroom. 

"Quickly girls," Miss Hardbroom snarled as we took seats, realising that all the other students were already seated. 

"Right. Today you are to write an essay on the history of invisibility potions." 

A wave of groans and grunts flew over the classroom. 

"No whining," the teacher snapped. "Get on with it." Miss Hardbroom waved her hand and a paper and pen appeared on my desk in front of me, along with everyone else in the classroom. I picked up my pen and started to write, everyone else doing the same. 

But it didn't take long before my mind was focused on something else entirely. I had only managed to complete the title of the essay before my thoughts were on the particular person sitting at the front of the classroom. 

Hecate sat at her desk, marking some work, a somewhat angry expression on her face. But it didn't intimidate me. It was strange seeing Hecate again. And very painful, which was why I couldn't write my essay. But I wasn't one bit scared of her. Because I still loved her. In fact, when I gazed at her dark lips and shiny, black hair, I began to love her even more than I already did. Which was NOT supposed to happen. Breaking up with Hecate was supposed to make me stop loving her. So that we could both move on with our lives. Why on earth did I love her even more? 

As I continued to do no work and gaze at the teacher, I felt a drop of cold moisture gather in my eye before drizzling down my cheek. I was quick to wipe it away as I didn't want anyone to notice. Luckily, Mildred, who was sitting next to me, was the only person who saw that tear escape my eye. 

"You alright?" she whispered into my ear. 

"Yeah, I'm okay thanks," I whispered back before looking down at Mildred's essay and realising she had already written a whole page. How long had I been staring at Miss Hardbroom for? It must have been almost the end of the lesson and I had only written the title! I hoped Hecate wouldn't be angry at me. 

I considered trying to start my essay. But I wasn't too fond of the idea. So instead, I just let my thoughts take me wherever they wanted to take me. Which, of course, was right back to HB. 

Hecate hadn't noticed me staring at her. Which was good because due to the somewhat awkward situation we were in, the last thing I wanted was for her to find out that I was still obsessed with her. 

Hecate hadn't looked at me at all during the lesson. And it took me a while to notice the sadness that I had, gazing at the teacher. She was perfect. Her deep eyes and flawless skin made me feel so lonely as I wished I could still have them in my life. But despite the hurt I had being in the same room as the person whom in which I was unrequitedly in love with, her warm presence was not lacking. I still felt her warmth and her comfort, even though I was no longer with her. And that caused me to form a small smile on my lips, over my loneliness. 

It didn't feel right without Hecate. I had gotten so adapted to being in a relationship with her that now we had broken up, everything just felt wrong. Like I was unable to go back to how things were before I met Hecate. Maybe that was due to the fact that I still loved her. Or maybe it was just because it was my first time seeing her after our break up. But something just didn't seem right. Like a huge piece of me was missing. 

But I had to move on. I had to let her go and stop thinking about what could have been. Only a few months left at this place. Only a few months left with Hecate in my life. I would have to learn to adapt back to life without her. 

I would have to make life feel right without her. As much as I hated to say this, I couldn't spend the rest of my life wishing she was still in it. I would have to learn to let go of love. I didn't know whether life without Hecate would ever feel right. It certainly didn't feel right as I continued to gaze at her in that potions class. But I would have to try and make it feel right. I would have to find a way to get used to being without her. 

"That's it girls," Miss Hardbroom declared at the end of the lesson as she stood up and began to stroll through the classroom, collecting in our essays, mine in which didn't contain any more than a title. 

My heart throbbed in my chest as she approached Mildred and I. She picked up Mildred's three page essay first, nodding her head in approval. Not looking at me, she then picked up my blank sheet of paper. I prepared myself to be shouted at. 

To my relief, she didn't shout. She didn't say anything at all. Just made a sigh as she looked at my non-existent essay before continuing her walk around the classroom. 

"Few," I whispered to Mildred after Miss Hardbroom walked away. 

"I can't believe you got away with that one," Mildred whispered back with a giggle. 

I couldn't believe it either.