Lovesick Witches

Friendship

The rain pattered loudly against the windows whilst the grey clouds hugged the turrets of the school. My friends chattered between themselves as the fire gently crackled in the warm library. I sat on an armchair, hugging me knees, reliving the moment that Hecate and I once had together. Except this time, the chair opposite me sat empty, as I stared at the red embroidery of it, wishing that it was still occupied by the one who once sat there. 

The outside world seemed ever so lonely as I looked over to the window. I was surrounded by friends, yet I felt just as alone as the empty courtyard outside. But something I didn't feel, was fear. I knew what I had to do. Whether I liked it or not. And I was definitely sad. Devastated, even. But not fearful. If anything, I was acceptant. I felt certain about what I was going to do. I knew it was for the best, no matter how much hurt that caused me. 

A tear drop slowly danced its way down my cheek as I sat in peace in the library. 

"Ana," said Mildred, coming over to me. I became aware of my surroundings and wiped the tear off my face. 

"Are you okay Ana?" asked Maud, softly, as she followed Mildred over to me. 

"What's wrong?" Mildred asked. 

"Oh, nothing," I said, without intending to speak in such a quiet tone. 

"Well you are crying, Ana," said Mildred. 

"I'm not," I denied. 

"Please tell me what's up," Mildred continued. "Or just tell us how we can help." 

I smiled at my friends, appreciating their company. 

"I just decided to stop my study sessions with Miss Hardbroom, that's all," I replied with a weak smile. 

"Oh, how come?" asked Enid as she walked over, joining the conversation. 

"Well with Ethel's plan to try and end our study sessions, I was sure Ethel would find a way to ruin my good reputation with HB. And I didn't want that because I might need her for help in potions class. So I thought it would be better to just end the study sessions with HB myself. That way, I'm not giving Ethel the chance to mess things up." 

"That's a good decision, Ana," Maud said. 

"You don't need HB anyway," said Enid as she smiled at me. "We can help you study, if you need it." 

"Thanks guys," I said with gratitude for my friends' support. 

"Oh, Enid, we have to go to flying now," said Maud. They had joined a flying club to try and improve their technique before our final exams. I had more important priorities and Mildred had head girl duties to attend to instead. So Maud and Enid scooted off to flying club, leaving just Mildred and I left in the library. 

As I continued to gaze at the unoccupied armchair facing me, Mildred sat down on it, disrupting my view. 

"You really like her. Don't you," she said softly after a minute of silence. 

"What? Who? What are you talking about, Mildred?"I stuttered nervously, trying to hide any possible suspicions of my sadness. 

"HB," she replied with a gentle smile. I opened my mouth to deny her correct assumption, but she interrupted me. "It's okay, Ana. Really. I'm your best friend. I won't judge you, I only want to help you and be there for you. I won't say anything to the others if you don't want me to. Don't feel like you need to hide things from me, Ana. I'm always here for you, no matter what." 

"Thanks, Mildred," I whispered as I reflected on those supportive words from my best friend, instantly relieving some of my loneliness. 

"But, how did you know? That I may or may not like HB? I'm not saying that I do like her. But if I did, how would you know?" 

Mildred let out a small laugh. "Honestly," she said, "I've suspected it for months. I know studying is important to you but I know you don't care about it enough to get so worked up about study sessions. Every time Enid says something hurtful about HB, you get all defensive. And I understand. I know HB pretty well, much better than Enid does. I know that she is a lovely person deep down. I've seen it. And I'm sure you know that too." 

I nodded in agreement. 

"So..." said Mildred, "have you done it yet?" 

"Done what?" I asked, confused. 

"You know," Mildred said. "It." 

"Like..." I processed what she was getting at. "Eww! No! Mildred!" I exclaimed in embarrassment from that question. 

"Okay, okay," Mildred joked and I giggled. 

"But we did almost kiss," I told her, quietly. 

"Almost?" she questioned. 

"Yeah. I pulled away," I said, frowning. 

"But I thought you really liked her?" 

"I did! I do! But I panicked and ran away. We made up after that though." 

"And you haven't kissed since?" 

"No," I said. "The time just hasn't been right." 

"Do you wish you had the chance to kiss her again?" 

I considered this question for a moment. "Maybe," I replied. "I really love her. But that's the problem. I shouldn't love her. She is my potions teacher and she doesn't love me back. We could never be together and I'm not even going to see her again when we leave here in a few months. So I wanted to protect myself from heartbreak. And from Ethel. I didn't want Ethel ruining our relationship when we only have a few months left with each other. I have to take control. So I'm going to break up with her today." 

"And how are you feeling about that?" Mildred asked. 

"I really wish," I started, before letting out another tear. "I really wish things could have turned out differently, you know? If Ethel hadn't have found out about our relationship and tried to ruin it. Or if I could stay at Cackle's forever and be with Miss Hardbroom." I sniffled and wiped away my tears before continuing to express my emotions. "Love is a mad thing. I came to this school to avoid love. I thought I could only love boys. I was very wrong in believing that," I giggled slightly, over my sobs. "But love, it has consequences. And more often than not, love doesn't have a happy ending. And if you truly love someone, you will be willing to face those consequences for the person you love, however hard that may be. And it is pretty damn hard. Love that isn't returned is the worst kind of love. The hurt that comes with having to leave the person you love is the most painful feeling in the world." 

I bursted into tears after saying all that aloud, which had been bubbling up inside of me for so long. I couldn't believe I had told Mildred about my feelings for Hecate. But it felt relieving to get it off my chest. 

Mildred walked over and bunched up next to me on the same armchair. She put her arm around me as I cried, helplessly. 

"Shhh," she said, trying to calm me down. "It's okay Ana. It's okay. It will all be okay. And I'm so glad you've told me that. It's so important to have friends you can talk to so you're not suffering on your own. You're never alone, Ana, no matter how alone you may feel." 

"Thank you, Mildred," I said as I rubbed my eyes, trying to put a stop to my sobbing. "Thank you for being so understanding and supportive. It really means a lot to me." 

"Any time," Mildred replied before embracing me in her arms, me wrapping my arms around her, appreciating the true friendship that I was so lucky to have.