TripleEz is Coming

Relativity/Attacked With a Headband

Tuesday

Sorry about the somewhat vague nature of this update, like I said we don’t have any scientists anymore but we are running a science update because Rabies says that the lack of basic intelligence on base could easily cost us the apocalypse so we are doing a new education drive. So what is relativity? What does it have to do with trains? What does it have to do with TRAINS? What are trains? These are all vital and important questions. I miss having scientists.

 And I know only too well how some of you readers who don’t originate from on base will be wondering how I can miss things considering that I am now supposed to be an emotionless tin can… OK, well, just going to cover that. Don’t care what Rabies has to say about it. Codrii has ceased to exist. Sorry. He failed me and I was in a particularly grumpy mood. He unplugged me mid charge and I hate that.

 Anyway Codrii was busy applying my inhibitor when the most terrible, terrifying and above all terror inspiring being entered. Yeah. It might have been TripleEz. Like I said, I have to say might or I might get sued for having a persecution complex. More than I’m already getting sued anyway. I hate moles, especially the purple flying variation. So TripleEz nicked my inhibitor and I freaked and may have turned Codrii into scrap. Also, checking Facelessbook as I write this and it looks like TripleEz has a new electronic cigarette. It has the same brand name as my inhibitor on the side. I hate that, that, that thing. I hate TripleEz.

 So I still don’t have an inhibitor which means that I’m just going to have to deal with those ridiculous emotions lol and basically yes. It is going to suck. sorry?

 Ok. Re-la-tivity. Bye! It sounds cool, don’t you agree? It sounds like relative so I’m guessing that it might have something to do with extended family. If you’re human. But – how would that relate to robots? We have ‘family’ but we aren’t ‘related’ if you see where I’m coming from so I don’t think that it can be that. Con Fu Sing. Confusing. That’s already a word, isn’t it?

 General Morris is sitting there glaring at me so I am going to stop this tangent right now. This is me stopping. Cool. I’m back. Sorry. Oh, um, readers, it’s Ez. Ez the great, Ez the fantabulous, Ez the… the Awesome. Ez Iz Awesome. Now stop the tangent. So. Tangent over. What is relativity? Please, stop with the relativity. Relativity Good Bye is a thing. Relativity is a really cool thing. Relativity is an incredibly important thing. I don’t know what the point of it is but there definitely is one. I am totally one hundred percent on that. Definitely.

General Morris says to stop doing physics and also that E=MC squared or whatever that means. I don’t know about that military commander sometimes… Well, she actually said “I never see you anymore, come out the door” but my gift is languages so long as the title doesn’t feature vampires and so I can use my sheer genius to show you the truth.

 The sheer purpose of this chapter has been undermined so I’m planning to spend the next few hours sitting there and sulking because nobody loves me. Awww. That is adorable. Not. I might go and use Bobby’s horn to roast some marshmallows on the still smoldering fires of the old science block. I’ll feed them to him. Wasting marshmallows might be a crime somewhere. I don’t really care all that much – despite my lack of an inhibitor. Don’t look so surprised. I can’t see you but I’m imagining that you look surprised. Yes, I do have an imagination. Stop being so anti metalist.

 Hail the Robocalypse! And relativity, if you want to be boring.

 ZiziTheRobot and Ez. Ez is still here, despite the lack of appreciation of my truly inspirational interjections.

Wednesday

Sorry, this one might be a little short. I’m currently hiding in my relaxation and charging room and I can hear voices outside. I might be really, really, really missing my inhibitor at the moment: I am one hundred percent terrified and I don’t want to… to stop… in so traumatic away. I’ve only just begun my existence and I haven’t achieved my dreams yet. Help! Please, please someone help me. Nonbeing is a horrifying concept and I don’t think that I’m quite yet ready to go there yet.

 News. Bobby is good, but there was a bit of a scene with a female unicorn last week. Actually, let’s not go there. Fifi is under here with me and so is Rabies. Rabies hasn’t actually spoken since her left leg was bitten off by a reptilian beast last week so that’s pretty awkward. Fifi says “Sparkles, sparkle sparkly pink.” That means hi. I think. It also might mean ‘school shoes suck’ but that is just the sort of confusion you get when your entire language consists of two words and variations therewith.

 Actually I have something very interesting to say. Or Rabies does. She’s talking! This, readers most wondrous, is a breakthrough.

 Rabies says: Zach Roeirg, Michael Travino, Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley, Steven R. McQueen.

 Sorry, I can’t translate it – I’m struggling a little with this language but I’ll get there. I’ve asked Fifi to sneak out and try to ask the Pink Tack what it means. We will always remember her courage. Also, if anyone wants to psychically make some conversation (if they’re psychically reading this) then please do. Rabies has stopped talking and it gets a little awkward when I’m sitting here and she’s sitting here and we’re both hearing screams from outside and none of us can understand the other.

 Fifi just came back but she’s battered and bleeding. Apparently General Morris was just outside and so I’ll just be a few seconds. We’re looking for a new hiding place.

 Actually we might just stay here. She’s in with us. I’m terrified that I’m going to start creaking and she’ll come over. Fifi’s stopped complaining and Rabies’s stopped breathing. Fifi’s just taken her pulse and is now making vague motions that seem to indicate that her heart is still beating. We’re fine. Sort of.

 I can see the General’s feet. She’s wearing black knee length boots and Fifi is craning her head and is making dramatic eye movements that appear to indicate that she is holding the headband. She’s now showing us the colour and appearance of the headband by being viciously beaten by it. It’s bronze and spiky and I don’t want to get hit by that thing. Do you know how much this paint job cost? The General has just dropped the headband and is now rocking back and forth and looking slightly surprised at the plasma and blood cells (both white and red) that are covering her. Bobby has just walked in and is touching Fifi with his horn. Fifi’s glowing but the various scrapes and bruises seem to be fading.

 Wait. Bobby is glowing now too. They’re going see-through! Something is very wrong here!

 Bobby and Fifi have just disappeared. I’ll get back to you on Friday (or not, Wi-Fi can be unpredictable) but for now I need to be off - either Bobby just got kidnapped by Fifi or Fifi just got kidnapped by Bobby. This, readers, might create some tension so yeah. Be back on Friday (hopefully)

 Hail the Robocalypse!

 ZiziTheRobot