TripleEz is Coming

Potatoes are strange

TripleEz has Communicated with us. Still not quite sure how. We heard a deep and echoing voice that was neither male nor female, that was inhuman in its power and that held us in its sheerness. It was definitely him/them/her/it. It had to be. There was no doubt. Also, we need something to say about TripleEz or we risk becoming redundant and redundancy is not cool. Actually, not quite sure how I'd become reduntant seeing as I'm technically self employed. Meh, complicated stuff that requires thinking - not quite my speciality.

That terrifying voice had a message for all of us and having done our research with real humans (none of whom were hurt) we concluded that it was a message of awesome proportions and importance. Everything was in agreement. Once we'd seen what the subject of the message was we were in agreement. Well of course we're seperate from everything. We're a robot army and not a thing. In fact whomsoever should describe us as a 'thing' shall be met with fire and pain and burning. We're friends with the Fers. You have been warned.

Anyhow, the message was as follows: "Potatoes are strange. Potatoes are strange. Potatoes are strange."

We believe that the reason why the message was repeated was, you know, TRIPLE Ez. Comes in threes. I'm pretty sure that there's a saying that bad things come in threes. So does Ez, it seems. Unfortunately Zizi don't seem to. Imagine how awesome it would be to meet yourself!

Back on track, we've looked at people looking at potatoes and it seems that he/she/it/they are right. Strange edibles that grow deep down in the earth until they are retrieved by hungry humans searching for nourishment. You wash the mud from them, the mud that clothed them and comforted them and kept them safe and hidden, and you boil them or peel them or roast them. Sometimes you mash them. They have eyes like you, skin like you, they grow up in the dark line you. They live in this world like you. How can you eat them and live with yourself?

Pity the potato because no one else will. What is it with you people? At least WE never face moral dilemmas like this. Think about that next time you're crushing them or chopping them up or throwing them in boiling water. That's a life not so dissimilar to your own that you're taking. What did it ever do to you?

Thank you for bringing this miscarriage of justice to my attention, TripleEz. I know that you probably didn't do it intentionally because we're still convinced that you're a creature of pure evil and deserve only to be destroyed before you slaughter us. However, maybe some poor potatoes will be spared as a result of your statement and that would be a true miracle.

Still hate you though, TripleEz, no matter how irrational and groundless that sentiment must feel now. Forgiveness is not in my programming and also we still need a scapegoat to blame for everything that happens. You haven't yet redeemed yourself. Sorry. You probably don't care and I don't have emotions apart from pity because my creators were slightly psychotic and very malevolent and decided to make my existence such so yeah...

Hail the robocalypse!
ZiziTheRobot