TripleEz is Coming

Hyperactive pringles

New insights into the family life of TripleEz, my strange and mortal reader. Not to be rude but I'm not sure if you aren't just imaginary. The only thing I know is that this is written for you and for your safety. Now, tangent over: TripleEz has a FAMILY! We did not actually know this which might stem from the fact that we don't actually know any more about him/them/her/it than you do.

Oh and by the way the experts on the subject have called an urgent meeting (named Alan) to discuss TripleEz and all that the name pertains. We are certain that Alan will have something interesting to say on the topic - he normally does. Magister, who will be leading the debate, claims that TripleEz's grasp of Latin is thievery and that he may bring it up again but he might forget. He does that.

Anyways, important announcement aside, we now know where the potato message was coming from. TripleEz's cousin is a Pringle. The brand new agent who calls themself 'Galcticia' contacted us earlier to tell us that the statement was not made for the good of potatoes but out of exasperation as TripleEz had been having a family gathering and apparently the Pringle, aged two and half, had had a coke and was hyperactive and TripleEz's uncle who we have no information on dumped the Pringle on their/his/her/it's hands. Needless to say, TripleEz wasn't too happy about this and broadcast in the only way available to it/him/her/them: a psychic message to all those who have the necessary equipment to be able to decode mental transmissions. Being a robot army poised to conquer the Earth we obviously have that kind of power - what kind of invading force would we be without vastly superior technology that will no doubt quail in the sight of heroism and bravery and blah blah blah... That was supposed to be a rhetorical question but it sort of trailed off towards the end.

Anyway, the potatoes (who appear to be sentient) responded by crying softly and rocking back and forth. Interpreters claimed that this meant:

"We hoped someone cared! TripleEz, we thought that you were nice and just misunderstood. Why does nobody love the humble spud? We get so lonely down here and you give us hope only to take it away..."

I don't understand how you can eat these poor creatures. Sympathize with them! Stop tearing down their small hopes of friendship and the basic rights that they deserve. Monsters. Buy shirts and posters and march to ban the consumption of potatoes or maybe scream and shout and tear through farms as a potato liberation army. We have the power to change the world if we try!

And TripleEz - don't think that this is over. You broke their nonexistent hearts with your statement that... that we probably shouldn't have taken as an expression of sympthy but that's not the point!

We're with you, dear root vegetables. We are with you all the way!

Hail the robocalypse!

ZiziTheRobot