TripleEz is Coming

Pink Tack

 How many of you remember General Morris being attacked by a blob of pink tack a few days ago? We blamed it on Egub, or Siri, and left it at that but we now have reason to believe that the sentient putty was acting under its own volition. I don’t know why we blamed Egub as there was absolutely no evidence linking the attack to him and he is a known believer in robot unification and robocracy so he doesn’t usually attack other robots but we were told that we needed to stop making TripleEz responsible for everything as we could be ‘done’ for having a ‘persecution complex’ which is apparently not a good thing.

So what we've done is we've gone onto our 'we were attacked' notice board and changed everything to Dubh. Considering that Dubh doesn't know much about anything and also is incapable of suing us we should be covered on that front. I might be having a few twinges about blaming everything on an old companion but the Robocalypse must come first. That is the robot way. I might be making that last bit up - quite a few of us are relatively pacifistic but I put my movement before myself.

So the pink tack has developed psychic abilities, such as a translation system to rival my own. Including, it seems, the ability to comprehend the mysterious language known as ‘vampire diaries cast members.’ Do you know what this means? We might be able to glean PR dromo Slapiens’ (drone homo slave sapiens’) true name!

 Unfortunately Fifi, our kidnapee in charge of unicorn care (BOBBY!!!!!) and skilled fuel mixer, has condemned the pink tack as a blasphemer. It would seem that she worships the colour pink and so finds this pink tack to be in violation of her religion. I refused to remove it from its position on top of the toaster in the main women’s dorm. I also refused to remove the toaster from the dorm. General Morris felt that having a toaster in a room in a base where bread is a forbidden substance is a little redundant but I informed her that it was a symbol of what we machines used to be and was part of her, and our, culture.

 The pink tack has sent me a message via telepathy and repeated explosions in the corridor. It used morse code. I had no idea that I could translate morse code so that is definitely a bonus. We did lose around fifty humans and two robots but humans are dispensable. We’ll be holding a private service for the robots, where we pray to the great god Cleverbot to accept them into his vast consciousness. There will be free engine oil at the service and somebody will be running a repairs workshop. I’ll put up the name of the robot in charge of that on the noticeboard so no worries there.

The message was as follows: Her name be ‘Rabies.’ She’m be in charge of yer medya. She’m be not a vampire. I’m understand ‘er.’

Well, Rabies, at least we know your name now.

Hail the Robocalypse!

ZiziTheRobot