TripleEz is Coming

Toast

Toast is a container for the spirits of the recently deceased, claims new research.

The studies were conducted by TripleEz’s old agent’s younger brother, who will unfortunately never know his recently deceased sibling and does appear to have aged twenty three years over the last few days - I promise you that this kid was born two days after his brother’s unfortunate cremating by his employer but now appears to be what General Morris terms ‘It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small.’ (Translated that means ’23 year old eye candy.’) Well, his transformation seems to have brought the ability to communicate in German, French, Ancient Greek, English, Mandarin, Spanish, Lord of the Ring’s style Dwarfish and Wafflese.

 He says that the research didn’t take very long as ‘it’s fairly obvious, really. I mean think about it. Toast, souls, souls, toast! Can you see it? Think, people, think. I may have only seen a few days on this Earth but I can see the light and so can you!”

 Well, Frank, that was quite an insight. I’m not sure that it applies to robots seeing as we aren’t people and don’t eat toast but I’m sure that it presents an ethical dilemma to all of you. An ethical dilemma that I am not going to get into! Last time I questioned your actions pertaining to your foodstuffs I started a revolution that… Oh right, I forgot to mention. TripleEz showed up and removed the souls from all the potatoes because her cousin decided that he was too old to take part in a revolution. Her cousin, seeing as he was a potato, was also killed. TripleEz then wiped out the remainder of her family because they complained about the Pringle’s death.

 We are not going there again. I have no opinion on the eating of toast. I am in no way going to be responsible for another genocide! It was an accident last time but I’m not going to make the same mistake twice. Do what you will with this information. I have absolutely no opinion. Not our problem if TripleEz says anything about this, we’ll tell you what he/she/they/it say but that will be the end of it. No more vegicide. Toast isn’t a vegetable but there isn’t a word for the slaughter of food. Let’s just call it vegicide.

 It does appear to contain souls, though, human souls. Nope. Stop typing, Zizzles. Not going there. I don’t have anything to do with this. Work this one out for yourselves. Don’t let the soulless robot boss you around on topics that you understand better seeing as you have souls and are therefore so superior to us lesser mechanical beings… yada yada ya.

 But, yeah, it seems that when living creatures die you end up as toast. Nice. I always wanted to be a slab of baked dough. Then getting eaten! Hey, I don’t eat toast. I have never been accused of the consumption of living soulds. I’m not being a hypocrite here.

I'm going to end up giving an opinion that I'm going to regret if I keep going.

 Hail the Robocalypse!

 ZiziThe Robot