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I lean against the railing looking out over the East River. It was my fathers funeral today. I was officially and orphan. A pair of arms slipped around me and pulled me closer. I closed my eyes in comfort and solace, Dan.
"How are you holding up?" He wondered
"I'm putting my father in the ground, if the long noise of the machines weren't official enough this will be." I turn around.
"Thank you for being my rock since it happened." I open my eyes to meet his.
"Of course. Anything for you. Have you heard from your brother?" he wondered as we held onto each other.
"Drinking him self into a stoupper no doubt. The staff have informed me his room has accepted meals so at least that something." I sigh
"I know I have to be strong. I know I have to because if I'm not I don't think I could ever come back. And if I lose myself I would be letting my father down and I can't do that." I whisper
"You won't. I know you won't."
"I have to go to the apartment, I'm wearing one of my Dad's watches, big and bulky but..." I let the sentence trail off.
"I'll take you there." I lopped my arm through his and we made our way over. Once I was there I went to got to my Dad's room, I pulled out his draw of watches and scanned them. I pulled one out and slipped it on my wrist. I headed downstairs, Eric was talking to Dad.
"Hey." Eric greeted me.
"Hi" I pulled him into a hug then turned to my boyfriend "I'll be riding with everyone else, will you meet me there?"
"Sure." he kissed my cheek and left, Aaron went not long after him. Lily came back and she got changed then we all except Chuck got into the limo, when we were close I texted Dan. When we pulled up CeCe was the first out then Lily, Eric and myself. I saw Dan and went to him, he brought me into a hug.
"Aaron? what are you doing here?" I drawled
"For me of course?" Serena answered and I sighed not wanting to get into anything.
"You know what I don't have the energy to fight you, he sits far away from me as possible. I'm going to try Chuck again. Excuse me." I took my phone out and called him
"This is Chuck Bass, please leave a message."
"Chuck, where the hell are you? You can go silent for a week but today of all days I need you here. It's our father funeral, just please show up." I ended the call I sent him a text as well and also one to Blair asking if she had seen him I sighed looking at all the antedee's when I just wanted a moment of quiet when I heard a commotion. I headed to the other side of where I was I saw my brother yelling at Dan.
"What on earth is going on here!" I shout heading to stand in front of Dan. "Back off." I seethe
"Dan has been helping us, unlike you." Serena scowled at my brother
"Helping us, you know what his family had done." he retorted
"You want to bring that up now?! That is not the point of today or even this week. You are drunk and loaded up on God knows what on the day of our fathers funeral." I scolded
"Daniel I think it maybe best if you left." CeCe suggested
"He's not going anywhere and that is final!" I yell so lout it hurts my throat "And if anyone tries me today of all days, including you brother you will live to regret it. Do I make myself clear." Everyone was silent.
"If you cross me, if you even think about taking the only person who has been my rock and has kept me off the deep end, when you have been MIA drinking yourself silly, then maybe Dad is right and you're not even worthy of the Bass name. Now sober the fuck up walk into that church and pay your last respect to our father." he glared at me. and walked off most of the family followed.
"You didn't need to do that." Dan told me
"Yes I did. I have been respectful since Dad died, I have given him space and pleaded with him to call. Being nice wasn't cutting it. Let's go." I took his arm and walked back towards the church.
"Rosalie are you sure about this?" CeCe questioned me, I glared at her.
"Nate, Blair, will you sit with us. Chuck will need you."
"Of course." the agreed and we headed inside. My brother sat lazily at the front I sat next to him with Dan on the other side. Blair sat between Chuck and Nate. The final send off for our father began.
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I sat on the sofa back at the apartment during the wake, I was comfort eating. Lily had the good idea of having comfort food and nothing so decadent.
"I'm sorry about my brother." I say to Dan
"no it's fine. He's upset, but he did say something weird about my Dad though." he replied and I turned even more to face him
"What?" I wonder stuffing my face with Macaroni cheese
"something about my dad hurting his dad, something like that." I look down "What is it."
"My Dad was suspicious of Lilly still having a thing with your Dad. It was made even worse wth Thanksgiving and she just froze him out."
"But that's insane."
"Is it, I see the way your Dad looks at her. You give me the same look. I love your Dad, he is awesome and sweet and doesn't care that my father married Lily but it's awkward." I sigh I saw my brother go upstairs.
"Look, you are not your father. You don't have to think the same way he does or react how he would have, you do what you think."
"I don't know what to think I don't know what to do. It's nearly christmas and my brother is lost, my father is dead and you are the last thing i can hold onto." I put down my plate
"Then stay with me. Through the holidays, we already live in the same building but stay with me, I will be there for you" I caught sight of Lily going up as well.
"Ok" I agree "Okay." he hugged me and I pulled away "I'll be right back." I head up the stairs just in time to see Lily slap Chuck.
"Seriously?" they face me "Lily, leave." she did as I asked and I walked into my fathers office
"Been redecorating I see."
"Come to yell at me again, sister." he grumbles
"Actually no. I came to talk. Chuck you're my brother and I love you. but you're not the only one who's lost a Dad. You weren't the only one who buried him today. I did as well." I start to cry
"All week I have needed you but you weren't there. You abandoned me when we needed each other the most You can be mad at Lily, at Rufus, at Dan at the whole fucking world but what did I do that made you think the bottom of a bottle was more important that sharing the grief with your twin sister." I saw tears roll down his cheek as well
"Rosie." he breathed walking up to me he hugged me and I returned it "I'm sorry." he pulled away and left me alone, again. I dropped to the ground and curled up in a flood of tears. I don't know how long I was there.
"Rose." I heard Dan, he turned me around and pulled me up
"Is She okay?" It was Serena I started sobbing all over again.
"He left me. He left me He left me." i repeated. I was brought into Dan's arms.
"I'm gonna take her home." I was lifted up
"I'll grab her things." Serena stated as I was carried away.
