If It Hurts This Much (Chaelisa)

Chapter 14

And then it happens turns out to be Chaeyoung's cell ringing a millisecond before their lips brush against one another. Lisa tenses, turns her head and narrows her eyes at the buzzing phone on the side table whilst trying to ignore the way Chaeyoung's forehead leans against her temple, lips and breaths brushing her jawline.

The moment is over, and Chaeyoung's back to having a boyfriend, and Lisa's back to being married.

"You should get that," Lisa monotones as she rolls off, throwing her legs over the side of the bed furthest away from the stupid cell and hangs her head between her legs.

She hears a rustling of sheets from behind her and then a small "hello?" It feels like someone just reached down her throat, grabbed her heart forcefully and tore it out, grinning as they jump and down on it. Definitely feels awesome. Her jeans are lying haphazardly on the floor, belt buckle gleaming in the sunlight still filtering through the half-open blinds, and she makes the quick decision to get the hell out of there.

"I'm fine, Jaehyun." She hears Chaeyoung say as she dips, swiping up her jeans and slipping them over her feet.

"Right now?" Chaeyoung continues and Lisa can feel her eyes eyes boring into the back of her skull. "I'm, kind of busy."

Lisa stands, pulling the jeans further up her legs until she can button it up and buckle up her belt. She lets out a sigh, shakes her head and then heads towards the door.

"Jaehyun, wait a second," Chaeyoung says from behind, "Lisa?"

Lisa pauses, leans against the door jam and doesn't even bother turning around. "What?" It's not said bluntly, or rudely, it's said through an exhale and makes Lisa squeeze her eyes shut, wishing her vulnerability wasn't so obvious to Chaeyoung.

Silence only answers her, and she just knows Chaeyoung's waiting for her to turn around. The majority of her brain is protesting, telling her to stop plucking at the hem of her top and get the hell out of there, fast. But her heart's saying different. It's whispering that she needs to turn back. She needs to face this once and for all and to stop purposely causing herself harm. And even though consciously, it's not what she wants to do, her heart seems to push away the brain and wills her body to twist to face her best friend.

Chaeyoung's sitting with her back pressed up against the headboard, legs bent and tucked near her chest with her arms locked between them. In between clasped hands is the cell, the speaker covered by a pale left hand and other pressing over the back to ensure Jaehyun can't hear down the other end. Her brown eyes are pleading, silently begging Lisa to stay with words she can't vocalize, for more reasons than her boyfriend being down the line.

"I have to go," Lisa says quietly, glancing towards the phone and then back up to Chaeyoung’s eyes.

Chaeyoung's face scrunches half with disbelief, half with hurt. "You have to go," she repeats.

"I have to…" Lisa pauses, turning to face the door jamb as she presses her forehead against the wood, hard. "I have somewhere to be," she corrects, turning her back once more.

Somewhere to be means anywhere else but here, and the sudden silence confirms that Chaeyoung knows that too. Heat rushes to the back of her eyelids and she clenches her jaw, restraining the tears before they can gloss over her eyes. If she doesn't leave now, then she knows she won't. So without another glance back, she reaches for the doorknob.

"Bye, Chaeyoung." Lisa pulls the door closed as she steps across the threshold and into the hallway. Only a few steps later she's out into the street and speed walking around the corner, forcing her muscles forward and not backwards.