Hang Up [Unedited]

xxxv

25 August, 2014. 1:01pm.

Andrew: Milkshakes?

Jewel: Yes, you're going to make them for me.

Andrew: And exactly how will I do that?

Jewel: I'm coming to pick you up, in about an hour. Don't even think about looking for a way out.

Andrew: Do you know where my house is? Like do you have the address?

Jewel: Your mom gave it to me when you were in the hospital. She said I could come over anytime I wanted. It was this random spontaneous text, and I was just like, well then.

Andrew: That's it a bit weird, but alright. She has no idea what you look like, she ruffly knows who you are, yet still gives you our address.

Jewel: Drew, if you don't want me to come over then just say so.

Andrew: Fuck, I'm doing it again. Jew, I'm sorry, no I want you to come over. I'll make all the milkshakes you want, just please come over.

Jewel: Alright, I guess it's settled then. I'll be there in a few minutes.

Andrew: Are you going to come inside or do you want me to come out?

Jewel: For now it would probably be best if you came out. I'm just not ready to meet all of your family at once.

Andrew: Be completely honest who are you most afraid of meeting in my family?

Jewel: Most afraid of meeting, that would probably be Amanda. She's your sister, not to mention your twin, I find that a bit intimidating. What if she doesn't like me, then what do I do?

Andrew: I'll admit, Amanda can be quiet frightening, but that's only if she feels there is some danger. She's kinda like a mamma bear, even though she is the younger sibling.

Jewel: You're older than her by like two minutes, don't get hotheaded.

Andrew: Excusez-moi?

Jewel: Nul Françias.

Andrew: Oui Françias. Beaucoup.

Jewel: Aucun!

Andrew: So where did you pick that up from?

Jewel: A restaurant, an old couple were yelling at each other, in French. I didn't understand a thing except when the man shook his head and kept screaming, aucun aucun!

Andrew: Old couples shouting at each other in a different language, don't you just love it?

Jewel: It's way better if one speaks Spanish and the other speaks Italian.

Andrew: Did they even understand each other?

Jewel: I don't even know, I think they were just feeding off of each other. By the way you'll also be feeding me, prepare yourself I eat a lot.

Andrew: No you don't, you probably weigh 100 pounds tops.

Jewel: If you're trying to be a gentleman, don't. I actually weigh 135, anyone who questions my weight again, will die.

Andrew: Did I hit a nerve?

Jewel: More like stabbed a nerve. For as long as I can remember, I've been called anorexic because I was smaller than most of the girls in my class. Even girls who were actually smaller than me called me anorexic. Someone could sit and watch me eat two Big Mac's and still they called me a twig or toothpick. I think my favorite was bean pole, not because it was funny but because I'm short. No one actually got the irony of the name.

Andrew: Um, I don't know what to say. I just can't picture anyone treating you that way, you seem like the type of person that everyone would love.

Jewel: Well I'm not, and I never will be. People couldn't accept the fact that I was small, people still don't accept the fact that I'm small. But you know what, I don't have one fuck to give about it.

Andrew: Calmez-vous. Ma douce, vous êtes belle.

Jewel: I don't know what that means, huh, I'm coming to pick you up.

Andrew: Now?

Jewel: Is that a problem, or would you rather me not come at all?

Andrew: Don't do this to me Jew, I want you to. I'll be waiting, okay?

Jewel: Okay. I'll text you when I'm outside.

Andrew: Bye.

Jewel: I won't accept that.

Andrew: Au revoir....

Jewel: Still waiting.

Andrew: Au revoir, ma douce.

Jewel: Au revoir, mon amour.

Andrew: What?

*click*