Hang Up [Unedited]

xxxviii

28 August, 2014. 4:45pm.

Jewel: Are you serious?

Andrew: I'm sorry but it's completely out of my control.

Jewel: No it's not! Tell her you don't want to go.

Andrew: You know it doesn't work that way with my mother. I have to go with her, we can still hang out on Saturday.

Jewel: I can't, I have to leave Saturday and won't be back until late next week, Friday is the only time I can see you. Please make her change her rmind.

Andrew: Where are you going?

Jewel: It's my family reunion and we planned on going to New Orleans. My family rarely ever gets to see each other altogether so I can't just not go. I wish you could come with me.

Andrew: Meeting all of your family at once, I coudn't do it. I'd probably freak out, or like faint or something.

Jewel: Why would you do that?

Andrew: I think you already know why Jewel.

Jewel: Drew, please do this one thing for me. Skip going to the city with your mom and come eat with me.

Andrew: Fuck it, let's do it then! Me and you, tomorrow, just hanging out all day.

Jewel: All day? Not just eat and go our separate ways, I'm really liking the sound of that.

Andrew: So do I, and I really can't wait too see you again.

Jewel: You flatter me Blondie.

Andrew: Blondie? Does that mean I can call you Little Red?

Jewel: Yes, and no. Over the phone yes, I can't punch you through the phone. In public, I will punch you if you called me that.

Andrew: You are something else, and that hardly seems fair. By the way where are you?

Jewel: Snack shopping at Wal-mart, why?

Andrew: Because I literally just passed you.

Jewel: Did not! Why didn't you stop? Liar.

Andrew: Yes I did, I'm with Sophie, she's pulling me to the toy aisle. And rude much young lady?

Jewel: l'm older than you are.

Andrew: Trivial.

Jewel: Barely.

Andrew: Nerd, you're so modern.

Jewel: Dork, you're so hipster.

Andrew: Dollface.

Jewel: Sweetheart.

Andrew: Cupcake.

Jewel: Buttercup.

Andrew: Creampuff.

Jewel: Love muffin.

Andrew: Can't top that. By far the worst one, so degrading.

Jewel: If you ever call me love muffin, we gon be fighting for real.

Andrew: We gon be, tsk tsk tsk, such inproper grammar for an editor.

Jewel: My excuse, I'm black, it's a dialect of the English language.

Andrew: Look at you, in sweat pants and a beanie. You look so cute.

Jewel: You completely copied my outfit. Like where's the originality, do you even have a creative bone in your body? Fucking hell!

Andrew: Jewel calm down, and I think I wear it better anyway.

Jewel: Do you now, well wouldn't it be a shame if your pants, I don't know, just happened to get wet?

Andrew: Put the water gun down babe.

Jewel: Not a chance boo.

Andrew: Jewel don't, stay back. WE'RE IN A STORE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

*click*