Hang Up [Unedited]

xlix

22 September, 2014. 3:35am.

To: Jewel

I had three different emotions when I saw that picture.

From: Jewel

And what would those be?

To: Jewel

Anger, confusion, and relief. Not exactly in that order.

From: Jewel

I'll get an explanation for that later.

From: Jewel

I'm gonna miss you catering to me. You would make a great butler.

To: Jewel

Be honest, the part you enjoyed most was me shirtless.

From: Jewel

The food is what I enjoyed most, you shirtless was a bonus. Although I didn't mind cuddling with you shirtless.

To: Jewel

Food, that's what you enjoyed the most?

From: Jewel

Well, to be completely honest, being with you for four days straight was the greatest thing ever.

To: Jewel

Will you go on a date with me?

From: Jewel

You have no chill, but do you really have to ask, of course I will.

From: Jewel

Speaking of chill, I was about to take my pills for my injuries, right. Well I go to grab them when I notice an extra bottle next to them. I knew they weren't mine and the only person to be in my house is you, so my question is why?

To: Jewel

Baby look, I can explain.

From: Jewel

At first I didn't know what they were, so I called my Aunt Flo, she's a psychiatrist. Well she told me that the pills were anxiety pills. Now, what really got me, is when she told me she had only prescribed them to one of her patients. Naturally I asked who it was, although I could take a pretty damned good guess who, and you know who she said it was?

To: Jewel

Huh, it was me.

From: Jewel

Ding motherfucking ding! Andrew Jones, age 19, born on July 10, 1995, was given pills to suppress his anxiety. Diagnosis, Social Anxiety Disorder.

To: Jewel

Baby will you please let me explain.

From: Jewel

Yes, please explain to me how you managed to NOT tell me you had SAD after three fucking months! For two of those months, I dragged you to possibly some of the most crowded places in town, yet you still didn't say a damn word!

To: Jewel

I didn't say anything, because I didn't want you to be upset. Jewel, I wanted you to be happy while we were spending time with each other, I didn't want you worrying about me. You are first priority to me, I put your happiness before mine.

From: Jewel

Don't! Don't put what I want before what you want, it's not healthy, it's not right. You could have just told me that you were uncomfortable, I would have understood. Just because I'm having a good time doesn't mean you don't have to to make me happy.

To: Jewel

I don't care if I'm not having a good time, as long as you are I'm fine. Like I said before, I'm coping, so if going to a packed club is what you want, I'll do it.

From: Jewel

Maybe it's not all about what I want! It's not all about Jewel, it's about Andrew too, that's what a relationship is! Keeping each other happy so that you benefit from it as well, it's not "make the other person happy while sucking all happiness from yourself", please yourself first before you please others.

From: Jewel

Do you know how that makes me feel, Drew? I feel like I'm a complete fucking failure, because I couldn't see there was something wrong with you. I feel like I ignored how you felt and only cared about myself. How can you not have told me?

To: Jewel

Jewel are you crying, damn-it! See this is exactly what I was trying to avoid, I'll be there in fifteen minutes.

From: Jewel

It's nearly four in the mourning, stay home.

To: Jewel

You should know by now that that's not going to stop me. I'm on my way.

From: Jewel

I'm serious Drew don't.

To: Jewel

Too late.

From: Jewel

Drew, no.

-read 4:00